All posts by Shannon Cutts

Shannon Cutts is first and foremost a birdie and tortoise mama. She is also a writer, speaker, nonprofit founder, mentor, lover of retro threads, and champion of all things (and beings) recovered and recovering. She has authored two books, “Beating Ana” and “Love & Feathers”.

10 Reasons Having Kids May Not Be For You

Single and married women alike today have something new in common: Roughly half of each group is undecided about having kids. If this describes you, you are not alone – 2014 saw the largest annual birth rate drop since the U.S. Census began.

Ultimately, it is totally fine to not know yet if you want kids, or even to be sure you don’t. Here are 10 of the most common reasons women today say they are on the fence about having kids.

You adore travel.

If you don’t fancy trading in your exotic intercontinental travel plans for a nonstop, non-glamorous domestic itinerary of washer-to-dryer round trips, it may not yet be the right time for you to have kids.

couple adventure
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You can’t imagine life without wine.

Let’s try a little meditation. Sit in a comfortable position. Breathe deeply in and out a few times. Visualize nine long months without a single sip of wine. If this part doesn’t sound fun, you might want to postpone having kids for a bit (or a lot) longer.

cheers wine
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You can’t imagine life without sex.

Oh yes. Or, rather, oh no….as in, oh no, where did all the sex go? And is it ever coming back? With the average new mom waiting 120 days or longer after giving birth to resume intimacy (due to pain, discomfort, body image issues, sleep deprivation and other factors), this is a valid question, and one you may not ever want to hear yourself asking.

couple
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You are loving your slim and trim figure.

In addition to the eight to 11 pounds or so of actual baby in your belly, you can expect to gain anywhere from 17 to 26 extra pounds during your pregnancy (up to nine of which will likely be pure stored fat).

girl water bikini
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You are single and “actively looking.”

Dudes with baby strollers in Central Park (or anywhere) still retain a fairly decent chance of scoring a date. But gals with a stroller may all too easily find their park time dominated by doting grannies instead. Not to mention that the moment you conceive, your mind may readily turn from fantasies of necking to fantasies of napping for the foreseeable future.

woman on laptop
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You enjoy taking the time to prepare gourmet meals.

You will still have the task of preparing meals, but the gourmet aspect will likely look a lot more like pureed apples and squash than mint-parsley ceviche or shrimp bouillabaisse.

seafood cooking
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You like checking your bank balance and watching it grow.

Recent estimates show that having and raising one child tends to cost the average family around a quarter of a million dollars (and that figure doesn’t include college tuition).

mercedes car
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You are super happy in your relationship.

Guess what 67 percent of couples cite as a major cause of relationship discord? If you guessed it’s having kids, you’re right.  In other words, if the phrase “marital slump” doesn’t sound appealing, you might want to move any thoughts of having a baby to the back burner.

black and white couple
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You are pretty (or very) happy with the way your life is now.

If you have a kid, prepare for all that to change, unless you can afford the kind of star-studded post-delivery care that makes your actual hands-on participation in parenting a totally optional task. The harsher reality is that most new parents report a significant reduction in their own personal sense of well-being following the birth of their first child. Eep!

girl jumping
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You think the world is already overpopulated.

‘Nuff said.

solitude climbing travel
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

5 Beginner Tips for Car Camping

Cheap. Easy. Fun. Does this sound like your idea of camping? It can be, with just a smidgen of research and prep time. Of course, it’s easy to quickly turn the prospect of your first car camping trip into an epic time-suck project with a free side of extra stress. In the non-stop whirlwind lives we live today, our free time is precious and should be kept as stress-free as possible. On that note, we put together a handy guide to help make sure your very first car camping trip goes off without a hitch!

First things first, despite what it probably sounds like, “car camping” does not mean you are going to spend your vacation sleeping in your car (whew!). Rather, you can think of it like car-assisted camping. You’ll sleep in a tent out under the stars like a pro, but very nearby you will have practically anything you could ever need. As a first-time camper, you definitely want to camp with a car. Your car can get you out of harm’s way ASAP in the event of a sudden weather shift. Plus, your car can come in handy to store all the extra “just in case” stuff you packed. But best of all, if you do forget something essential, or you have an accident and need first aid or medical care, you’ll get there much faster if you can jump in the car and drive rather than first having to hike it back out again on foot. Here are five failsafe beginners’ car camping tips to keep in mind before your adventure.

Keep your first camping trip quick and local

Road tripping is always going to be a favorite. But if your goal is to camp successfully for the first time, don’t spend all your time putting miles on your wheels. Flip open your road atlas, note where you are on the map, and then locate the closest state or national park and star it. This is your destination.

Book your campsite reservation early

Unless you are planning to camp in Texas in February, you need to get your campsite reservations squared away PRONTO. Do this first, or run the risk of completing lots of legwork only to discover all the campsites are taken or the park is closed down during the off-season dates you’ve selected.

State and national parks are particularly reliable about providing cleared and well-maintained campsites with lots of amenities, like toilets, showers, or grills.

camp view from tent

Campsites range in price from around $10 a night to around $30 a night. The earlier you put in your reservation request, the more different types of campsites you will have to choose from.

Bring only the budget basics

If you are someone who tends to over pack, you may struggle a bit with this one. But once you arrive and your campsite setup is a breeze, you will know the struggle was worth it. However, if you lose the struggle this first time, don’t despair! Just pay attention to how much of what you brought you actually use. This can help streamline your packing list for future camping adventures. Here’s a list of items you’ll want to bring with you.

friends camping

Ease up on the food

Keep your food plans simple and quick. Items you can expect to be able to pick up locally at reasonable prices include bagged ice, some fresh produce (bananas, apples, etc.), beverages, and pre-packaged soup or cereal where you can just add hot water and mix.

Arrive during daylight hours

Finally, there is nothing quite so stress-relieving as arriving at your destination during the day when you can see everything. This way, you can scope out your campsite, set up your tent, get the lay of the land, nab a few items you may need for cooking dinner, and even take a short hike or swim if time and geography permits.

night camping under the stars

Of course there are a million things that could go awry that get no mention here. But most of those things won’t happen, and the few that do will most likely be easily fixable with a little help from friendly locals and your handy vehicle. Once you get the general hang of camping itself and start to notice your personal campsite preferences, you can ramp up the difficulty level, from choosing a hike-in/hike-out campsite where your car is now parked a short distance away from your tent, to going off-the-grid backcountry for real.

When you set yourself up for camping success by starting off small and simple, you will have lots more smiles and adventures to look forward to on future camping trips together!

Explore the Great Outdoors in West Texas

Texas. If the rumor is true, everything is bigger here.

But the fact is, ever since Forbes nominated the city of Houston, TX as #1 for its “coolest cities to live in” list, the city is starting to run out of room.  Now, two-thirds of the way through 2016 and 27+ million strong, Houston is bulging at its high-tech, interurban, energy-centric seams.

west texas sunset

Cowboys? No room for ‘em. Cattle? You can find that in aisle 7, the one labeled “frozen packaged meats.” As for wide open spaces: most of those are now hidden beneath a vast network of industrial parks and shopping malls. In this era of explosive urban growth, it’s easy to forget city life isn’t all Texas has to offer.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t set out on your own “Wild West” adventure in the Lone Star State, and we’ve got some suggestions for you here.

 

Dell City, TX (Guadalupe Mountains National Park)

The tiny town of Dell City isn’t much to look at on its own, but you’ll find it very hospitable. A bonus – the Guadalupe Mountains National Park is a short 15-minute drive away.

Check out Laura Lynch’s White Adobe Church guesthouse, a cool, calm desert oasis packed full of small town charm. If the Adobe Church is booked for your dates, she also has several other equally wonderful guesthouses you can reserve.

Guadalupe Mountains National Park
Guadalupe Mountains National Park

If you want to scale Guadalupe Peak, which is the highest point in Texas at 8,749 feet, be sure to set out in the early a.m. and not in full mid-day sun when heat exhaustion is a real risk. If you still have energy left over, be sure to visit the park’s most popular scenic attraction, McKittrick Canyon. While hiking McKittrick, you can see examples of each of the region’s four major ecosystems, as well as capturing some truly gorgeous photos to show family and friends back home.

Guadalupe Mountains National Park
Guadalupe Mountains National Park

One of the best aspects of Dell City is how close it is to not one, but two amazing national parks. Drive for one-half hour and cross the Texas-New Mexico border and you can squeeze in a visit to the famous underground cave system at Carlsbad Caverns National Park.

Carlsbad Caverns National Park
Carlsbad Caverns National Park

 

Marfa, TX

Marfa is a retreat site for artists, musicians, creative types and free thinkers, both as visitors and as permanent residents. Celebrities also favor the town, and recent sightings include Beyonce and Solange Knowles, Robert Plant, Jake Gyllenhaal, Natalie Portman and Robert Pattison, among others.

Davis Mountain Range Panoramic
The Davis Mountains in West Texas

When it comes to lodging, El Cosmico is a popular choice for those seeking an alternative to hotel accommodations plus a soak in one of the compound’s soothing wood-fired hot tubs. Paisano Hotel is famous as the sight where the movie “Giant,” starring Elizabeth Taylor and James Dean, was made. And the Thunderbird Hotel does a fabulous job of sticking to its 1959 roots while providing lodgers with the best in updated amenities.

Marfa at sunrise
Marfa at sunrise

Before you depart, be sure to make the trek a few miles outside town to try to glimpse the famous and elusive Marfa Lights. The Marfa Lights were first observed in 1883. Appearing in red and yellow, the lights glow, flicker, and dash across the nighttime sky.  To date, the Marfa Lights are considered one of the nine biggest unsolved physics mysteries, and they draw thousands of visitors annually, each hoping to say they’ve seen the lights with their own eyes.

marfa lights
(Marfa) Mystery lights | Photo via Angi English on Flickr (CC BY-NC 2.0)

 

Balmorhea, TX (Balmorhea State Pool)

Pronounced “balm-ray,” Balmorhea pretty much has one of everything: one restaurant, one grocery store, and one natural spring-fed pool, which is reputed to be the world’s largest.  Not surprisingly, the 3.5 million gallon artesian pool enjoys a steady stream of visitors. Because the spring-fed waters consistently remain between 72 and 76 degrees, the pool is open year-round. In summer, enjoy a pleasurably chilly dip in its refreshing waters. In winter, sink down into a steaming outdoor spa of immense proportions.

Balmorhea State Pool
Balmorhea State Pool | Photo via JBColorado on Flickr (CC BY-ND 2.0)

In any season, you’ll feel time stop as you dip down under the clear, natural spring waters and come face to face with curious pond fish, pond turtles and other local denizens. Diving is encouraged – the pool has both high and low diving boards dotting its perimeters. Scuba diving is also permitted with the proper certification.

Marsh at Balmorhea State Park
Marsh at Balmorhea State Park | Photo via Brad Fults on Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

When you’ve finished your swim, there is a lot more to see and do at the nearby Balmorhea State Park and Balmorhea Lake. After-dark adventures include night diving (check with the park for hours and dates) and starry views from the McDonald Observatory, which is just a short 45-mile drive away and hosts the most amazing star parties as well as day and twilight events.

 

Pecos River/Rio Grande River

Last up on the itinerary is a viewing of the historic point where the south-flowing Pecos River merges into the mighty Rio Grande River. Each river has its own rich history in Texas folklore, literature and song. For those who can stay awhile, river permits cost just a few dollars a day and you can launch a boat right at the site where the two converge.

Rio Grande in Big Bend National Park, Texas
Rio Grande in Big Bend National Park, Texas
The Pecos River at sunrise
The Pecos River

For shorter or drive-by visits, the drive itself is undeniably scenic, thanks to Amistad National Recreation Area’s many lookout points. Stop periodically to enjoy views of grazing wildlife, lovely flowing waters, and maybe even a special treat – a real live wild agave plant.

bridge over the Amistad Dam in western Texas
Bridge over the Amistad Dam in western Texas

Agave, of course, is a primary ingredient for that most classic of Mexican/Texan beverages, tequila. And what better way to conclude your Wild West Texas adventure than with a refreshing sip of pure history?

Agave plant
Agave plant

Yes, You Can Meditate in Bed (and 4 Other Unusual Ways to Meditate)

According to Harvard researchers, just 12 minutes of daily meditation can reduce stress, fight aging and ease depression and anxiety. Yet less than 10 percent of us meditate regularly. Why is this? Common reasons cited include these: not enough time, don’t know how, can’t sit without pain, too stressed, can’t calm the mind and many more.

But what if we could prove you are already a master meditator? Because you are – anytime you concentrate your mind on anything at all, you are actually meditating.  In fact, the Latin root of today’s “meditation” translates directly to mean “a thinking over.” If you begin to think of meditation as a particularly focused form of thinking, it becomes less of a stretch to envision yourself actually doing it. The truth is, if you can concentrate while preparing a presentation for work or listening to Siri give you directions, you can concentrate while meditating as well.

Oh yes, but there is still the matter of time. With work presentations to prepare, directions to follow and so many sundry to-do list items (not to mention sleep!), who has time left over to meditate? As it turns out, we can give you a helping hand here too!

Meditate in bed.

 

Image via Pixabay under license CC0
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

Shavasana (corpse pose) is a bonafide yogic meditation position. In many yogic traditions, it is the single most important pose in any series of postures and is often used to end a yoga class.

How to perform Shavasana correctly:

-Lie down on your back with your arms straight down by your sides and your legs flat.

-If this is not comfortable, you can put a little pillow under your knees for extra support.

-Close your eyes and breathe in and out evenly.

-Concentrate on feeling the weight of your body pressing down on the mattress.

-Working from head to toe, focus on relaxing each area of your body.

-Continue breathing in and out evenly.

-If you have a mantra (a word or short phrase that is soothing or comforting) repeat that.

-Continue focusing on total relaxation and breathing in and out as you slide into sleep.

Bonus: you will have less trouble falling asleep when you develop a regular nightly practice of meditating your way into your zzzzs. You can also use your practice to fall back to sleep if you tend to wake up in the middle of the night.

Meditate while exercising.

 

Image via Pixabay under license CC0
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

If you have ever visited a church and walked through a Labyrinth – a sculptured garden maze designed to encourage active prayer and contemplation – you have already experienced the power of meditation + movement.

Of course, chances are good your doctor wants you to elevate your blood pressure a little bit beyond Labyrinth-level when you exercise! Happily, you already meditate somewhat while working out just by watching your posture, your foot placement, your breathing.  Now just take this one step further. If you have a mantra you like, you can repeat it in sync with your in-breath and out-breath. Or you can just use counting to regulate your breathing (as in, in-breath “1,2,3,4,5” pause, out-breath “1,2,3,4,5” and so forth).

By calming your mind in this way while you are exercising, you can experience deeper benefits from your workout, reduce your risk of injury, re-oxygenate your whole body to flush out toxins and emerge feeling refreshed and refocused.

Meditate when you can’t do anything else.

 

Image via Pixabay under license CC0
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

No one escapes from life’s inevitable moments of down time such as waiting in line, getting stuck in rush hour traffic or waiting on hold on the phone. Here, we only really have two choices: a) let our blood pressure rise and infuriate us, or b) use this otherwise useless time to meditate (okay, yes, we could also check our email or play Angry Birds on our phone, but meditation is still a better option).

If you are thinking, “but I can’t close my eyes in rush hour traffic!,” you’ve never met a Buddhist meditator. Many meditators in this rich tradition and others prefer keeping their eyes half-open or fully open to avoid the tendency to fall asleep. The key here is to keep the gaze even and soft while focusing on your breathing. The goal is to attain steadiness in the midst of the ceaseless distractions of the average day.

Meditate in the shower.

 

Image via Pixabay under license CC0
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

If you have ever had a great creative idea or solution to a problem just come to you while you were in the bath or shower, you already know this is a great time to focus and meditate! You probably were meditating but just didn’t know it. Otherwise how could your mind have become quiet enough for you to go beyond its typical surface chatter to unearth a deeper insight?

Take your breathing, your mantra or any other centering practice you prefer into the shower with you. Or simply focus on cleaning each part of your body with total concentration, similar to how you focus totally on relaxing each part of the body in Shavasana. In this way, meditation will come naturally to you at a time when you are already in a frame of mind to pursue cleansing, detoxification and healing.

Meditate while doing repetitive tasks.

Image via Pixabay under license CC0
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

Repetitive chores such as cleaning and cooking are forms of meditation in their own right. Your body is active, which requires your conscious mind to assist by focusing on mundane repetitive details. This leaves your higher awareness free to wander, kick out awesome insights, solve complex problems or simply rest for a moment or two in your breath.