Tag Archives: love

Guy Talk: What He’s Actually Saying

Whether you’ve been talking to a guy for two weeks, or have been happily together for twenty years, one of the most common struggles in any relationship is communication. As men, we’ve developed a reputation for ourselves—and perhaps rightfully so. It’s not that we’re uncommunicative. It’s just that, sometimes, we aren’t the best at articulating ourselves. And often, we like to assume that a simple yes or no, or cryptic text message solves the problem (it doesn’t). Ladies, no need to freak out. We’re not that hard to understand. To help, below we’ll decode some of our common sayings (AKA guy talk).

 

What he’s saying:  “I’m sorry.”

What he’s actually saying: “I’m sick of arguing, can we have make-up sex now?”

Commonly heard after a fight or argument, men often use this seemingly honest statement to cover up what we really mean. Yeah, we’re probably sorry, but we’re also ready to go.

What he’s saying: “I’m good.”

What he’s actually saying: “I like the things the way they are right this second and I’m literally not looking to add or change anything.”

When we say we’re good, it’s best to believe us. Sure, it’s a pithy reply. But it’s an honest one.

What he’s saying: “I promise.”

What he’s actually saying: “I kind of promise.”

If we consistently promise to do things and don’t show up or call, use your best judgment and put stock in our actions. Not all men are the same. And when real men make promises, we follow through with them.
man smirk

What he’s saying: “You’re not fat.”

What he’s actually saying: “Seriously, you’re not fat.”

Commonly uttered when you’re naked, we generally mean it. You’re seriously not fat. And you going on and on about body issues is getting tedious.

What he’s saying: “I’m not ready for a relationship right now.”

What he’s actually saying:” I’m not interested in a relationship with you.”

If we’re afraid of committing, it’s probably not circumstantial. It’s probably you. However, if you’d like to become friends with benefits, let us know!
Married couple having an argument sitting up n their bed facing off in opposite directions as they ignore one another

What he’s saying: “I’ll call you.”

What he’s actually saying: “I won’t call you…but I don’t know how to say it nicely.”

Usually heard at the end of a date, this phrase is our go-to when we don’t know what else to say. What we really mean is that we don’t ever want to see you again, but we’re not sure how to put it bluntly.
man waving goodbye

What he’s saying: “She’s just a friend.”

What he’s actually saying: “I’d like her to be more than a friend but I also don’t want to cheat on you.”

Oh baby you, you got what I need. And I swear she’s just a friend…
man and woman working

What he’s saying: “You look better without makeup.”

What he’s actually saying: “Hurry up, I’m damn hungry.”

Commonly heard before a dinner date, he’s probably being honest. However, he’s also hangry and could care less what you put on your face.

What he’s saying: “It’s a boys night.”

What he’s actually saying: “I just need a night to drink beers and talk about stuff that bores the hell out of you.”

Seriously, the game is on and I’m in the mood to pound beers and get in touch with my primal side. I may look at other girls, but I’m not going to cheat.

What he’s saying: “I’m busy.”

What he’s actually saying: “I have plenty of time…I’d just rather not spend it with you.”

Unfortunately, we’ve decided to not put you on the list of important things to make time for. There are 24 hours in a day—there’s no way we’re busy every single one of them.

What he’s saying: “Let’s try something different.”

What he’s actually saying: “I’m starting to get bored.”

We mean it. Let’s try something new, whether it’s in the bedroom or in the kitchen. Keeping things fresh and exciting isn’t too much to ask, is it?
Sexy man holding handcuffs, sit on sofa, black and white, bdsm

What he’s saying: “I like chilling at my place.”

What he’s actually saying: “I’m really only interested in seeing you behind closed doors.”

AKA I’m really just into having sex at the moment. Take it with a grain of salt.
Top view of sexy muscular young man looking at camera with sensual smile while lying in bed

What he’s saying: “I need more space.”

What he’s actually saying: “I need some time alone to think things over.”

We’ve probably just had a fight. And I probably need some time to save my ass.

How to Be Friends With Your Ex

You were in a beautiful relationship… and then it ended. Now, you have to figure out what to do with the mess in the aftermath. If you ultimately decide you want to be friends with your ex, give yourself a pat on the back. You do need to tread carefully, though, because this type of friendship is unique. Here are seven tips for how to be friends with your ex.

How to Be Friends With Your Ex: 7 Simple Tips

1. Give the Relationship the Time and Space it Needs

Trying to figure out how to be friends with your ex is admirable — and totally doable. Don’t rush it, though. If you broke up a week ago, you both likely need more time and space to grieve the end of the relationship and heal.

Rushing a friendship after a breakup could end up burying hurt feelings that will undoubtedly bubble up and explode later on.

woman learning how to be friends with an ex

2. Avoid Falling Back Into Old Habits

Did you and your ex-partner used to text until the wee hours of the morning? Fun times, those were. Now, they’re over.

You had such a strong bond with this person. Especially if you were together for a long time, it might only feel natural to keep all those old habits. After all, you spent years sending each other stupid memes and texting from the toilet.

However, when you put an end to a relationship, you put an end to the habits and behaviors that went along with it. The nature of your relationship has drastically changed. Also, you need to prepare yourself, because in all likelihood, your ex will move on to someone else. Then, they’ll be texting them from the toilet, not you.

Cut the apron strings now.

And speaking of your ex-partner moving on to someone else…

3. Stay Out of Their New Relationships

You feel entitled to an opinion on the new person they’re dating — obviously. After all, you used to be entitled to an opinion about everything, from how they combed their hair to the way they used to wear socks with sandals.

The difference now, though, is that you’re just their friend. In other words, your ex’s new relationship is none of your beeswax.

If you’re going to commit to being their friend, you have to commit to keeping it positive and refraining from starting any drama. It doesn’t matter if you think they’re rebounding with someone else, jumping into a new relationship too quickly, or doing everything for the new person that they were supposed to do with you.

group of friends learning how to be friends with an ex

Be supportive, or at the very least, stay out of it. The friendship will suffer otherwise.

4. Only Hang Out in Environments That Are “Ex-Friendly”

Did you have your first kiss in the back of a movie theater? Steer clear of that cinema.

Do you know that being alone with them will make it hard to resist certain temptations? Only hang out in groups.

Being friends is wonderful, but that doesn’t mean you won’t need boundaries. In fact, relationships of all kinds have boundaries. It’s how we protect ourselves and each other.

5. Call Them Your Friend — Not Your Ex

Yes, they’re your ex, but now? They’re your friend. Introducing someone or referring to them as your ex makes things weird. It also kind of implies you’re stuck in the past. If you want to be friends, treat it like a friendship — not a relationship that ended.

woman learning how to be friends with her ex

6. Limit Your Social Media Exposure to Them

After a breakup, we certainly love to torture ourselves by watching our ex-partners’ every move on social media. Where did they check in? Who were they with? What kinds of fun were they having without you?

This is a recipe for hurt feelings. Also? Social media stalking is something you do with an ex — not a friend. Remember those boundaries? Set another one: don’t unfriend your ex on Facebook, but consider unfollowing them. Don’t unfollow them on Instagram, but maybe mute their posts.

That way, you control when you want to see them. You won’t risk any undesirable photos popping up on your newsfeed with no warning.

woman on cell phone

7. Avoid Trash Talking to Your Gal Pals

We all need that time after a breakup to vent and talk smack to our friends. Give yourself this time, for sure. However, when you decide you’re ready to be friends with your ex, you have to try to let the negativity go. Keep it positive, leave the gossip behind, and be a friend to your ex both to their face and behind their back.

The Dos and Don’ts of Meeting Your Boyfriend’s Family

If we had to rank meeting your significant other’s family in a list of nerve-wracking relationship moments, we would definitely put it at the top of the list, right along with the first time you  make a joke that just isn’t funny. Don’t let it make you nervous, but this moment is vital and sets the tone for the rest of your encounters with the family. A lot rides on this event, but you can nail it with a bit of help from the experts!

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Don’t Drink Too Much

While it’s perfectly fine to indulge in a glass of wine if offered, it’s not okay to get drunk at his family’s house. Although you may feel more comfortable, you’ll more than likely make a fool out of yourself and say something you didn’t mean to let slip. Keep in mind, post-drunken-comment anxiety will plague your life for many days after the encounter and will be remembered by the family for years to come. A little giggly tipsy is fine, but sloppy drunk is never okay. Just think about Sarah Jessica Parker in The Family Stone. Drinking definitely didn’t enhance her conversational ability. Plus, if you partake in drinking too much, they might think you’re a lush.

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Don’t Let Them See You Sweat

Remember the film Meet the Parents? Gaylord’s fiance’s family noticed the nervousness and preyed on his weakness, making the situation even worse. Plus, his nervousness led to a series of accidents. Do you really want to be known as the woman who loses the family pet or floods the yard with sewage, or would you rather be known as the confident lady who made a lasting positive impression?

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Prospective in-laws have a sixth sense like a dog; they can smell fear. You need to walk in, smile, and swallow every bit of nervousness, so they won’t notice. Act like Dorothy on Golden Girls. She’s a confident woman who, despite her husband’s mother treating her poorly, acted with grace, dignity, and confidence.

Do Laugh

If you should happen to do something clumsy, make a joke and move on. Don’t let it get you down. Nothing is perfect, and you can’t expect something this significant to run 100-percent smoothly. It wouldn’t be a significant event if something didn’t go unexpectedly. And don’t just laugh at yourself, make jokes and show them you have personality, and you’re a down-to-earth person. You don’t want them all talking about the uptight “B” who their son brought home for the holidays.

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Do Have Manners

Always mind your manners by saying please and thank you. You don’t have to eat what you absolutely don’t like, but do accept generosity when it’s something you’d be willing to try. The family ideally wants to be hospitable and wants you to enjoy yourself.. Never take too much, though. You don’t want to be remembered as the heifer of the holidays.

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Don’t Assume the Worst

Most people dread meeting the family and having to spend holidays with their mate’s parents but don’t assume the worst and worry. Every family is different. You might be lucky enough to be welcomed by a sweet, open-minded family who’s looking forward to meeting who their child has chosen. If you lose at Russian In-law Roulette and you have a cold, emotionless shrew of a mother like the one Penny had to meet on the Big Bang Theory, you just have to swallow your pride and deal with the unpleasantry and hope it doesn’t last long.

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Do Observe and Research

It helps to observe and take cues from other family members–as well as your SO–and act accordingly. While it’s important to be yourself, you want to fit into the dynamic. Respect their wishes on nearly all matters. Go with the flow with as much as possible because it will make your time–we don’t want to go as far as to say enjoyable, but we will say–easier.

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Don’t Hesitate to Ask if You’re Unsure

Ask how they would like to be addressed. Don’t walk in calling them Joe and Amy or automatically assume they want to be called Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Wait for cues, and if none occur and you’re unsure of something, just ask. Asking shows you have respect and will lead to a better overall experience. It doesn’t hurt to ask your special someone questions about their family before meeting them, so you know what to expect and what’s expected of you..

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6 Small Ways to Say I Love You

When was the last time you retweeted your partner’s corny jokes? Gave them a surprise gift—naughty or nice? It might seem small, but in relationships, it’s the little things that bond us together. “Actions really do speak louder than words and many people consider a loving gesture to be as valuable as hearing ‘I love you’,” says Jacqui Gabb, the co-author of the “Enduring Love?” study. “Grand romantic gestures, although appreciated, don’t nurture a relationship as much as bringing your partner a cup of tea in bed or watching TV together.”

Ready to subtly sweep your partner of his or her feet? “The easiest way: find out your partner’s love language. Your other half most likely gives you love the way he or she likes to receive it,” says Jennifer Seip, an Individual, Couple, and Sex Therapist. She also recommends discovering your own love language and jotting down the things that your partner does that make you swoon.

“You may have a primary love language, one or two that you gravitate toward the most, but that just means you should work on the other ones,” adds John Kim, a licensed therapist and the co-founder of JRNI. Here are 6 small ways to speak fluent love, not broken.

 

Words of Affirmation

If your love language is words of affirmation, kind, encouraging, and positive comments can refuel your love tank. While hearing the phrase, “I love you,” is important, hearing the reasons behind that love cranks up your love-o-meter. Insults will leave you with emotional bullet holes that aren’t easily forgotten.

I love you 1

Make a list of 10 reasons why you love your significant other. Write each one on a separate sticky note and hide them around the house. “I’ll put one on my husband’s steering wheel before work or a lipstick kiss on a sticky note over his sink in the bathroom—my little ways of showing him how much he means to me,” says Stephanie Pass, The Tiptoe Fairy. “A few years ago, Nate gave me a hand-painted jar full of love notes. I still haven’t gotten completely to the bottom of the jar yet.”

 

Quality Time

If your love language is quality time, then conversations and activities—with your cell phone tucked away, your fork and knife down, and your household chores on standby—are your romantic bread and butter. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen will thrust you into a romantic rut.

I love you 2

When it comes to exercise, the magic number might be two—as in your partner plus you. “Some of the strongest relationships I’ve seen are those with people who exercise together,” says Shane Allen, a certified personal trainer and sports nutritionist. “Common goals and shared routines are what help make a relationship, as well as our bodies, stronger.” Hit a health club with free babysitting services like Blast Fitness, World Gym, or the YMCA. Rock climbing, AcroYoga, boxing, and weightlifting are workouts with romance built in.

 

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism. In the vernacular of receiving gifts,  nothing says, “I love you,” like the thoughtfulness and effort behind the bow. Whether the gift is small and thrifty or grand and expensive, it shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring it to you. Missed birthdays, anniversaries, and hasty, thoughtless gifts will poison Cupid’s arrows.

I love you 4

Create a mixtape.It’s one of the most personal, intimate, and romantic gestures you can do for someone you love. While records and cassettes have been dug out of the dustbin of history, a digital playlist allows you to continually add songs that show how you feel toward each other.

 

Acts of Service

Can scrub-a-dub-dubbing dishes in gawky, rubber gloves really be an expression of love? If you’re a part of the “hate to do the dishes” club, you betcha. If you’re fluent in this love language, you understand taking the burden off your partner’s shoulders speaks volumes. The words he or she most want to hear are “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for your lover will cause your wires to cross.

I love you 3

Make date night a weekly event even if you can’t afford a babysitter.“A date night…conveys to the couple is that they are creating a unique and special space for one another,” says Matt Garrett of Relationships Australia. It doesn’t have to be a full-on, three-course meal with the violinist in the background and a dozen roses. You might, say, fill your couple’s bucket list, watch the sunrise, or play a game of strip scrabble.

 

Physical Touch

“Of all the love languages, touch is the most primal,” says Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages. “It supersedes language and symbolic gestures.” If you speak this love language, you get your jollies—not surprisingly—from skinship. From hot-and-heavy, foot-popping kisses to lingering handshakes, touch is the bedrock that’ll make your bed rock. Physical abuse and neglect will cause your relationship to splinter.

I love you 5

Even if you’re not a touchy-feely person, you can still celebrate with high fives and fist bumps. “If we’re proud of each other, find something funny, both think the same thing at the same time, think about how much we love each other, or even if we argue and get bored of fighting, it’s ‘boom, fist bump time’,” says Emma W. “It’s…a little sign of what a great team we are and shows that he’s my buddy and teammate forever.”

Supercharge your relationship by giving your partner a regular neck, back, foot, or full body massages. “My husband [Dennis] and I have been massaging each other for ten years now—giving [a muscle-melting] massage is something we do as a treat for the other or when we feel like our marriage needs some extra loving,” says Emma Merkas, the co-founder of Melt: Massage For Couples.

Can Online Dating Lead to True Love?

Lonely-hearters rejoice: cupid’s arrow is turning digital. Proof? More than 5% of Americans met Mr. or Ms. Right online, according to the Pew Research Center.  More than 49 million Americans—a third of them unmarried millennials—have jumped onto the online dating bandwagon.

And why not? Online dating services provide scientific matches that are based on 400-question personality surveys.  According to the Laws of Attraction, the other ingredients to a long-lasting relationship are physical attraction, reciprocity, similarity, and proximity. The latter is where e-dating swoops in. It allows busy professionals, who may have particular types, orientations, or lifestyles, to fish for potential partners on a global scale, without much risk or time commitment.

Blond beautiful blogger kissing for selfie against pink

More good news: Cyber marriages also have higher satisfaction rates and lower divorce rates than offline couples— just 6 percent of couples who met online of couples who met online (as compared to 7.6 percent of couples who met traditionally) call it quits after 8 years, the average length of a marriage in the U.S.

Ready to click your first love letter in binary code?  Not so fast. Internet dating can lead to happily ever after, but it can also be a dead end at heartbreak lane. So, we’re helping you uncross your wires by looking at the good, the bad, and the ugly when finding love on the Net.

Pretty little liar

Online dating has a dark side. According to a 2007 study published in the journal of Evolution and Human Behavior, roughly 9 out of 10 people included white lies on their dating profiles. The number one lie: size. On average, women fudged their weight by 8.5 pounds while men fibbed by only 2 pounds, although they misrepresented their heights, rounding up a half  .

Closeup portrait of a beautiful redhead woman using smartphone

Luckily, Paul Bunyan-sized lies are rare.  “There were a few extreme lies in the sample, including a three inch lie about height, a 35 pound lie about weight, and an 11 year lie about age,” writes Catalina Toma, an assistant professor of communications at Cornell University. “This may be one reason that people believe lying is so rampant in online dating, especially since these extreme lies are more likely to be circulated.”

Another study, published in 2009 in The Journal of Communication, found that most women’s profile photos were 17 months old and professionally retouched, with glossier hair, fuller lips, and a flawless complexion. However, men’s avatars were on average only 6 months old.

tinder
Happy Zoe / Shutterstock.com

The silver lining: people are less likely to lie about their political affiliations.  Dating is a place where your vote counts: 50% of people won’t date outside of their political party, according to a 2008 OkCupid survey, .  And what about that other taboo: religion?? While apps like Tinder are winning the numbers game with 50 million users and counting, sites like JDate, Christian Mingle, Single Hindus, Muzmatch, and even Atheist Passions are gaining ground. “What I’ve seen is a trend going toward spirituality, as opposed to a defining religion,” said Rachel DeAlto, a relationship expert and dating coach, in an interview with Today. “Even when people are raised with religion, they’re more inclined to be open.”

Happily ever after

Need proof that true love can exist online? Here it is. With a click of a mouse, these online daters’ lives changed forever.

happy couple

Chicago-native LaKitia met her husband, Jeremy, on Black Singles in 2008.  “I ignored his profile based on his picture,” Lakitia admitted. “In it, he had an afro. He was hot. He was sweaty. He just looked annoyed.”  He only scored an 83% in compatibility. After several bad dates, this Chi-town city slicker sent the Texas farm-boy a wink.  The couple dated for 4 years, breaking up twice. “[We] always found our way back together,” Lakitia said. “After 4 years of dating, he proposed. “We’re embarking on our second wedding anniversary next month.”


Brita was in the middle of an internship in Columbus, Ohio when she signed up for OkCupid. “I was only interested in casual dating,” Brita said. “I already had a job lined up in New York.” Two and a half weeks before she was supposed to fly to the Big Apple, Dan, a Findlay, Ohio resident, sent her a punctuation joke and the two of them hit it off. But neither of them wanted a long-distance relationship.  Agreeing to be friends, they skyped and chatted via phone for the next few months. “I was in love with him a full month before he asked me to be his girlfriend [by email],” Brita gushed. On Thanksgiving, she met the whole family, and by Christmas, the couple was discussing marriage. “We both agreed we would need to spend time living in the same state before getting married. I moved back to Columbus once my contract was up, almost a year exactly after our first date,” she said. On the weekend of their second anniversary, Dan proposed. The couple tied the knot five months later.  They’ve been married for 2 ½ years.

What do you think about online dating?  Have you tried it?  Let us know in the comments section.

5 Tips for Handling a Workplace Breakup

Breaking up is hard to do and feels more unbearable when you’re forced to work with your ex. Since most relationships end in either heartbreak or marriage bells, why do we take the risk at work? The answer may be in the time spent together. The average employed person spends seven to eight hours working per day, and a report from 2015 showed that only 24% of the workforce spent some or all of that time at home. This means that most of us are passing more time with our office mates than anyone else, and common interests or goals may cause the lines between professional and personal lives to blur. According to CareerBuilder.com, 39% of its employees dated a co-worker at least once during their professional career. Unfortunately, this can only mean more than one messy workplace relationship breakup too.

Even though we know we probably shouldn’t, we sometimes can’t seem to help but get romantically involved with the people we work with. Did you attempt workplace dating and then go through a nasty split? Here are five steps to help you navigate the choppy waters after going through a workplace relationship breakup.

Vent to Friends Who Don’t Work With You

Venting can help you feel better, but avoid doing it at work. Instead, why not meet your sister or childhood friend at one of your homes? If your best friend is the person sitting in the next cubicle, wait for after-work drinks or coffee to talk. Finding closure is important; but once you cross the office threshold, leave the tension at the door. At work, you want to be known as the person who benefits the company, not the one who co-workers and supervisors associate with drama.

friends drinking coffee

Plus, you wouldn’t want to put a co-worker friend in a weird position. If that person happens to like your ex, that’s their choice, and it’s no one’s place to try to change or tarnish that. Sometimes, it’s just easier to keep certain conversations off-limits — and the conversation of your workplace relationship breakup might be one of them.

Be Respectful of Yourself, Your Ex, and Your Co-workers

Personal relationships can motivate us to work better, but they can also create an uncomfortable environment. It’s important to keep your eyes on the prize, and at work, that means progressing the success of the company and earning a paycheck. No one will appreciate you for inhibiting either target. It may sound harsh, but this company isn’t about you or the heartbreak you’re going through. Remember why you are there and what you’re being paid to do.

The best way to respect everyone, including yourself, is to arrive with a positive and assertive attitude. It’s not necessary to be Susie Sunshine. You’re still human, after all. However, you do need to be professional and add to a productive environment. Otherwise, you’re only making yourself look bad and jeopardizing your reputation.

coworkers

Remind Yourself of Your Ex’s Professional Strengths

Are you required to collaborate with your ex on a project? Is he or she your supervisor? If avoidance is impossible, remind yourself of the benefits of working with them. Perhaps their communication skills always win clients over, or their personality is perfect for calming tense environments. Remembering why you’re working with them in the first place can help put things into perspective. After all, you did like and admire them at one point. Those particular feelings don’t have to go away. Even though you didn’t make it as a couple, you might still be able to find reasons that person is amazing at what they do.

If you’re really strong, try complimenting them after a job well done. Not only will he or she appreciate the gesture (and possibly pay you a compliment in return), but it will show the office that you’re a composed and dependable professional. Take the high road, stay classy, and prove to yourself you can totally handle this.

Let Your Work Distract You

It’s normal that everything, from the lunch room to the water fountain, may remind you of your ex-love, but chase those memories away with your current task or project. Throwing yourself at your work will not only make each moment easier but help make the day go by faster. Before you know it, you’ll be able to return home and wallow with pizza, ice cream, and the Gilmore Girls revival (or any other way you prefer).

blond woman working on laptop
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t acknowledge and deal with your feelings. Burying them and bottling them up just means you’re going to explode with anger or sadness (or both) later on down the line. Give yourself time to heal and get over things. Just don’t dwell on it too much, or you’ll drive yourself nutty.

Be Transparent With Your Ex

Are you still able to have a somewhat civil conversation with your ex? Fantastic! You should be proud of yourself. While you may not want to do this while at work, there’s nothing wrong with being upfront with your ex about how you’re feeling since your workplace relationship breakup. If you feel uncomfortable at work and can tell they do to, sometimes, a simple text saying, “Hey, I know it’s weird, but we just need time,” is all it takes.

Worst Case Scenario, Consider a Move

Sometimes, a move can be the best decision for your mental, emotional, and professional well-being. Before spending your breakfast hour poring over the classifieds, however, consider all of your options. Are you in the best situation for career enhancement? Do you work for a large company with the opportunity for lateral movements? Remember, you may not need to leave the company to remove yourself from an undesirable situation.

Don’t mistake this for running away. No, you don’t want to run away from your problems. But there’s a big difference between avoiding dealing with your troubles, and simply choosing to put yourself in a more positive environment. If you really and truly believe you can no longer be in the same area as your ex because it’s detrimental to your wellbeing, then plan your next move out of there.

Have you ever gone through a workplace breakup? How did you handle it? Let us know in the comments below.

7 Romantic Weekend Getaways

Ain’t love grand—from the all-consuming, heart-skips-a-beat, embracing in the rain kind of love to the deep-rooted, life-long love affair? Yes, cloud nine will put a spring in your step, and, as it turns out, it’s good for you too. Kissing lowers stress, prevents tooth decay, and reduces allergies, according to a 2006 study. Spooning can keep your heart ticking.  Hand holding can squash pain and stress. And writing an old-fashioned love letter can cut your cholesterol. So, whether you’re planning your honeymoon, anniversary celebration, here are seven romantic weekend getaways in the U.S., dreamscapes that’ll send your love into the stratosphere.

 

Virginia Beach, Virginia

Whether you’re sunning on sandy beaches, tucking into a stack of Blue Seafood & Spirits’ lump crab cakes, or strolling hand-in-hand under the star-studded sky, Virginia Beach is for lovers. Dive deep and explore the graveyard of the Atlantic, where the 19th century steam schooner, Eureka, sunk, leaving behind china dolls, miniature tea sets, and snuff bottles.

neptune virginia beach

Take a ride on the Rudee Rocket, a banana yellow boat with 2,000 horsepower, and watch bottlenose dolphins jump, flip, and surf. Or, tip the romance needle—downtown-style. Book a couples’ massage at the Green Leaf and Pebble Spa.  Then sip mai tais at Lunasea while listening to Reggae-bands like SoPoz.  Don’t forget to immortalize your romance. Snap an usie in front of Neptune, the 34-foot, trident-toting Roman sea-god, or one of the nearby LOVEworks.

 

Napa Valley, California

Raise a glass to love. Napa Valley reigns as the land of vine-laden, villa-style estates, quaint cottages, and candlelit courtyards. Roughly an hour’s drive north of the City by the Bay, this wine connoisseur’s paradise boasts over 36 different grape varieties. So, Cupid, arm your bow with a personalized wine blend from Judd’s Hill Bottle Blending Day Camp.  And if it creates romantic sparks, purchase four finished bottles for life-changing events, from vow renewals to your golden anniversary.

napa valley vineyard

Pamper each other at Spa Solage. Roll in its specialty mud, a mixture of spring water and volcanic ash, or relax in its lavender-infused sauna. Then watch the sun burst over the horizon together on a private hot-air balloon ride, complete with coffee, pastries, and—you guessed it—champagne.

 

Savannah, Georgia

With Spanish moss casting romantic shadows on cobblestone streets, Savannah, Georgia’s oldest city, is the place to hit your relationship’s refresh button. Book a room at the Planter’s Inn. Then spoon in your plush, terrycloth bathrobes, and watch Amelie on Netflix. Or, slip into a little black dress, and get your social on at its complimentary wine and cheese tasting. Stretch your legs on a Historic Walking Tour, where radio-personality T.C. Michael unravels Savannah’s secrets, from influential historic figures to ghost stomping grounds. Is your relationship in need of a little green therapy? Head out to Tybee Island and steal a kiss in the shadows before the first sunbeams awaken a fiery sky.

savannah georgia

Then get your heart pumping in a kayak for two. Paddle downriver for a chance to spot endangered wood storks, white ibises, or bald eagles. And don’t forget to pack your significant other a romantic, seaside picnic.  Earn brownie points: slip in a bag of River Sweet’s Salt Water Taffy.

 

Seattle, Washington

Sleepless in Seattle, Singles, 10 Things I Hate About You: Seattle goes to the hopeless romantics, according to Amazon’s annual list of the 20 most romantic cities in the U.S. Seattleites scrambled to buy Harlequin Romances— First Comes Love, Me Before You, and The Rosie Project —using Prime Same-Day Delivery, climbing to 14th place. Is it a Valentine’s Day coincidence? We don’t think so. The rainy city has plenty of places to plant one on the love of your life.

couple seattle skyline

The Space Needle is a hunka hunka burning love.  After all, it’s the place where Elvis Presley stole the heart of Joan Blackman in Kid Galahad. And it’s easy to see why.  At 520 feet, you can’t help but ‘ooh and ah’ over its panoramic view of the Olympic and Cascade Mountains, as well as downtown’s indigo skyline and neon signs. At the Pink Door, wrap your fork around some Pappardelle Bolognese and enjoy off-the-beaten-path entertainment, from trapeze artists to tarot card readers. Then pick up a box of assorted truffles from Fran’s Chocolates and marinate in a rose-petal bath at Edgewater.

 

Tucson, Arizona

Tucson isn’t just for cactus wrens— it’s for lovebirds, too. Golfers, grab your drivers and conquer the The Sonoran Course: a championship-caliber green featuring nine-holes that trudge up and down the desert hillside. Foodies, let Gourmet Aire sweep you off your feet with a 45-minute aerial tour of the Tucson Vistas. Once you land, a limousine will whisk you away to Kingfisher, where you can savor a plate of fish and chips.

tuscan arizona couple hike

Have a single lady in your life?  Put a ring on it: ride horseback. That’s right. Saddle up and take your lady love on an evening trek through Saguaro National Park.  You can also add a little inner-city magic to your relationship at Sarlot and Eye’s Carnival of Illusion.  This Old-World magic show has a 35-member audience.  The result? Everyone gets a front-row seat.  That means these magicians and illusionists have got to be good. Bonus: the show will give you and your partner something to chat about long after your date has disappeared!

 

New York, New York

Here’s another reason to heart New York: Gothamites streamed the most love songs last year.  In this city that never sleeps, romance is just like Jane’s Carousel, a carnival ride from the 20s located in  : it keeps on spinning.  Luckily, you can relive that ‘butterflies in your stomach, first-love feeling’ at the Museum of Natural History’s Butterfly Conservatory, where temperatures flirt with the 80s. You can surround yourself with blue morphos, zebra longwings, and monarchs. Or, you can walk into a real-life fairytale: The Cranford Rose Garden. It’s a perfumed landscape where tens of thousands of roses peek over the pavilions, cascade down arches, and pose in beds.

brooklyn nyc

After you’ve been nurtured through nature, grab some fresh oysters with lemon pepper granita and a cup of sparkling namesake at The River Cafe. Then wrap up your romantic rendezvous with a trip to the Empire State Building’s Top Deck, where you can see up to 80 miles away. As Frank Sinatra, “the Patron Saint of New Jersey”, croons you and your sweetheart can “make a brand new start of it, in old New York, [as] king [and Queen] of the hill, top of the heap.”

 

Knoxville, Tennessee

Surrounded by the swoon-worthy Smoky Mountains, Knoxville is a steamy Southern jewel.  Ignite a spark in your love life at Wine & Canvas’ “Paint Who You Love”. It’s like the sexy and iconic scene from Ghost—except there’s acrylics, a paint by numbers canvas, and a glass of pink champagne. You can also get cheek-to-cheek with your flame at one of Absolute Ballroom’s Group Classes. Exciting, flirtatious, and downright erotic, Absolute Ballroom’s weekend social dance parties will transport you back to Jane Austen’s 18th century, where balls were the ultimate occasion for an electrifying kind of courtship.

tennessee mountains couple

Competitive? Participate in The Cutting Edge’s Cake Wars. Flour, frosting, aprons: need we say more? And don’t forget to visit the Sunsphere. Built for the 1982 World’s Fair, its 24-carat gold panels are an iconic part of K-Town’s skyline. Good eats alert: its Primo Ristorante Italiano serves a filet and lobster entree with garlic mashed potatoes and fagiolini verdi that’ll send your heart aflutter.

7 Books about Life-Changing Love

The weather is cooling and fall leaves float in the breeze. The coming of fall signals a time for togetherness and compassion. To help you celebrate love, we’ve compiled a list of books focusing not on romance, but on life-changing love.

 

Kisses from Katie by Katie J. Davis

kisses from katieKatie’s relentless love for her God and others leads her to a life of service in Uganda. At just eighteen years old, Katie foregoes her parents’ college plans and pursues a mission trip to Africa. Katie’s mission trip turns into a lifetime commitment as Katie decides to permanently move to Uganda and adopt fourteen children. In her premier novel, Katie details her life as she takes care of her children and launches Amazima Ministries in order to provide orphans with school, meals and care. Katie’s love story with Uganda is truly inspirational.

 

The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd

secret life of beesLily Owens and her stand in mother, Rosaleen, seek refuge in the home of the beekeeping “calendar sisters” after an altercation with a trio of violent racist. Lily joins Rosaleen in order to escape from her abusive father and haunting memories of her mother’s death.  The two are quickly immersed in the world of beekeeping. Slowly, they discover the truth surrounding the death of Lily’s mother and learn how to love themselves.

 

My Name is Mahtob by Mahtob Mahmoody

my name is mahtobMahtob is the daughter from the novel and movie, Not Without My Daughter. She tells the story of her captivity in Iran from her perspective and continues her story to the present day.  My Name is Mahtob is the story of a mother who loves her daughter too much to leave her behind and too much to teach her to hate.  Because her mother takes special care to keep Mahtob immersed in Iranian culture, Mahtob is able to come to love her father as the man who will forever be a part of her. Through this love, she is able to find forgiveness and peace.

 

Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist

bread and wine“With love, with love, with love” is the refrain of Niequist’s follow up to Bittersweet and Cold Tangerines. Niequist writes of that deep abiding love we often share around a hearty meal. Bread and Wine is a collection of essays about the love-filled moments in Niequist’s life, including travels around Europe, Sunday afternoons with her family, moving into her own home and her pregnancy. Each essay is followed by a recipe, like blueberry crisp or mango chicken curry, that she felt captured that moment for her. Niequist reminds us to focus not on counting down minutes, but on cherishing moments that take our breath away.

 

Things I Want My Daughters to Know by Elizabeth Noble

things i want my daughters to knowNoble heartbreakingly captures the beauty of mother-daughter love in Things I Want my Daughters to Know. The novel opens at the funeral of Barbara, the mother of four daughters. After being fatally diagnosed with cancer, Barbara wrote a series of letters for each of her daughters to be read after her death. In a beautiful way, Barbara is able to help her daughters heal and move on with their lives, even though she can no longer be physically present.

 

Walk to Beautiful by Jimmy Wayne

walk to beautifulWalk to Beautiful is the true story of Jimmy Wayne’s life. Jimmy spent time in and out of the foster care system, and eventually came to meet Bea and Russell, an older couple who took him under their wings. Their love, coupled with the love and energy of his guidance counselor, is what motivates Jimmy to finish school and pour himself into his music. After reaching the pinnacle of his country music career, Jimmy passes on their love by walking halfway across America in order to raise awareness and support for foster children.

 

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells

divine secrets of the yaya sisterhoodDivine Secrets is a classic example of the power of a sisterhood. Siddalee‘s mother sends her old scrapbook to Siddalee after she attacks her mother’s parenting ability in a national newspaper. Through her mother’s scrapbook, Siddalee discovers the stories of the women who have been her mother’s lifelong friends, the members of the “Ya-Yas”. Each Ya-Ya comes to life, and Siddalee is able to piece together their personalities, flaws and life events. The scrapbook allows Siddalee to learn life lessons as well as reach the point of forgiving her mother for past transgressions.