Category Archives: LIFE

6 Amazing Apps to Help You Unwind

You may think that the moment you slip off your work shoes and flick on the TV, you unwind. That the ball of yarn in your stomach, which has been winding tighter and tighter all day, will begin to unravel all by itself. Sadly, that’s not always how it works. You need to actively seek out that rest. You deserve it. It’s not easy to find a spare moment in which to have some much-needed “you time.”

By using these six apps, you can ensure you give yourself every possible chance to chill out whenever and wherever you happen to be.

1. Meditation made easy – Headspace

Sometimes, life gets caught in fast-forward mode. You’re watching the scenes play out, but things are going faster and faster, and you have a grand total of zero control. You want to hit pause. Well, you can. Headspace allows you to do just that. Rather than diving you head-first into the deep world of meditation, the app offers a simple introductory course. For the first 10 days, you have to spare just 10 minutes. Soothing sounds accompanied by a calm voice take you through every step. This course should guide you and teach you some of the basic strategies you’ll need, should you wish to incorporate mindfulness into your lifestyle. After the introductory period is up, you’ll have the option to pay a small subscription for the full version. Failing that, you can simply keep using the free app. The bite size meditation sessions can fit seamlessly into even the most hectic of lifestyles.

2. Wind down – Sleep Easy by Shazzie

Similar to Headspace, the Sleep Easy app offers a step-by-step course, which promises to teach you how to meditate and, ultimately, switch off. Shazzie is the writer and founder of the app. She is also an expert in so-called “life transformation programs.” The app features a 26-minute recording which seeks to help you drop off to a meditative sleep state. By the end of the sound bite, the app creator promises you will be “refreshed, renewed and resonating so much more from your heart and a place of stillness.”

3. Slumber in peace – Infinite Storm

infinite stormInsomnia is an increasingly common problem, and one which is oh-so-densely related to stress and anxiety. Spending the twilight hours counting sheep and praying to nod off to never-neverland is no healthy way to rest. According to one intriguing study, introducing white noise into the bedroom environment encourages 73% of children to drop to sleep naturally. There’s no reason that should not apply to adults as well. White noise can be anything from mechanically generated sounds to natural noises, such as rainfall. Infinite Storm is a free app that allows you to choose from a range of sound effects which will help you slumber peacefully. From “heavy storm” to “tin roof rain,” there’s a broad array of options. Choosing the right one for you is most certainly a game of trial and error. It’s worth experimenting with the choices a while, until you find the one that aids your sleep best.

4. Simple breathing tips – Breathe2Relax

This easy-to-use app describes itself as a “stress management tool,” but it can be so much more than that. In times of great pressure, your breathing becomes more and more shallow. Simply put, your brain fails to get the oxygen it needs, and this issue serves to exacerbate the problem. The solution is simple: diaphragmatic breathing. This app teaches you how to control your breathing by using straightforward self-training devices. You may not think that you need an app to help you do what comes naturally; but once you start using it, you’ll reap the rewards.

5. Find your Zen – Calm

calm appIf you’ve ever visited Calm.com, you’ll find the premise of this app is much the same as the site. The web page offers an array of calming sounds, which you can set to a timer on the background of your desktop. While the app version offers this function, it also includes a rather interesting “7 Steps to Calm” program. The instructive guide will teach you vital meditation skills, such as maintaining the correct posture and taking the time to evaluate how you really feel. If you’re new to the world of meditation, this app is a beginner’s crash course in the astounding art.

6. Drift off fast – Power Nap App

power nap appDo you feel drained and slovenly at times? Well, you’re not alone. Many of us experience these feelings, especially when we don’t allow ourselves the rest we need to function. Having a quick power nap may make all the difference. According to the National Sleep Foundation, a 20- to 30-minute sleep can increase alertness and help you rejuvenate your mind. Of course, there is always the unfaltering fear that you will fall into the deepest of sleeps and not wake up on time. The Power Nap App helps you avoid just that problem. You can set a timer of up to 30 minutes for your sleep. During that time, the app plays you pleasantly soothing sounds, such as birds and thunder. When the time is up, you’ll be awoken by your chosen alarm, such as bells or even soft piano music. If you’re struggling to fit a quick sleep into your day, this could be the app for you.

Top 5 Book Boyfriends to Swoon Over

Few things compare to the enduring pleasure of falling in love with men who live in the worlds of words. With outsized passions or masculine overtures, they’re not called heroes for nothing. Who is your favorite book boyfriend? Here’s a list of book heroes we love falling in love with, from the Beyond Words Team.

1. Mr. Darcy

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Mr Darcy Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

The consummate “don’t you see you’re in love?!” story, Pride and Prejudice stars Mr. Darcy who makes the book list for striking the perfect balance between conceited rich guy and noble humanist of convictions. Restrained passions between him and Elizabeth Bennet in Austen’s 19th-century tale eventually lead them to discover one fine day that they’re really, truly, mad for each other. Kiss. Deliver a letter.

 

2. Noah Calhoun

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks

Ryan Gosling - The Notebook

It’s 1946 and Noah Calhoun spends a sweaty day fixing up a house that’s almost 200 years old, to come home and quote some Whitman with a cup of tea. Need we say more? Dashing Noah Calhoun is the summer boyfriend of our dreams. And winter love, and spring love…

 

 

3. Heathcliff

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

Laurence Olivier Merle Oberon Wuthering Heights

Love. It’s all about hate. Or at least acute episodes of brooding 18th-century passion. Heathcliff makes the list for his total dedication to loving Catherine as much as he can’t stand her. Their love blossoms as kids when social class is not an issue, but the fickle Catherine opts to marry for money and status, leaving Heathcliff to cut off his nose to spite his face. We understand the smoldering nature of your intense desire, Heathcliff, even if Catherine never quite does.

 

4. Rhett Butler

Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

Rhett and Bonnie Blue Butler

Wiles don’t work. Tears don’t do the trick. Straight up pleading neither. Rhett Butler is the rebel with a cause. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows we are stronger than we think we are. And while he is the epitome of all that is enterprising, cunning, and masculine, the velvet of his true heart comes to life when he has a daughter. Sigh.

 

5. Gideon Cross

The Crossfire Series by Sylvia Day

Henry Cavill

“Gideon Cross was an impossibly gorgeous man, so beautiful that people stopped and stared when he walked by. I’d once thought of him as a sex god, and his frequent–and enthusiastic–displays of prowess constantly proved me right, but I also knew he was all too human.” – Entwined with You

Yes.

Can I Be a Digital Nomad? What You Need to Know

You’re sipping a piña colada and lazing on golden-sanded shores. You’ve just finished work for the day and finally logged off. Now, it’s time to relax in some glorious haven before jetting off to the next place on your travel bucket list. Sure, it might all sound too good to be true,  but, for digital nomads at least, this scene could be oh-so-familiar. 

What is a Digital Nomad?

In a recent survey from MBO Partners State of Independence, 4.8 million Americans described themselves as digital nomads. The truth is that it can be applied to just about anybody who travels and works at the same time. They frequently move from place-to-place, never settling on one destination, AKA living the dream.  

digital nomad working at airport

Step 1: Get a Remote Job  

If traveling while you work sounds like bliss, you may be wondering how you can make it happen. The first step is landing a role that allows you to move around. Many digital nomads are freelancers who work for themselves. Of course, should you want to go down this route, it’s vital that you build a strong, stable client list first.

However, another, more secure way to go is to look for a remote role. Luckily, these job types are becoming more and more popular. A massive 43% of American employees had careers which allowed them to work remotely in 2016, according to a Gallup Report. That means that snapping up this kind of flexible role could be easier than you think.

Step 2: Choose Your Destination

You’ve decided to become a fully-fledged digital nomad. Next, comes the hard part – deciding where in the world to go. Nomad List, a crowdsourced database listing the best places to live and work, could have the answer. The site analyzes major cities around the world and looks at criteria such as the average cost of living, internet quality, fun and activities, and, perhaps most crucially, safety. 

digital nomad

Topping the list are booming urban areas such as Canggu, Bangkok, Chiang Mai, and Buenos Aires. Of course, when you’ve chosen a place that suits you, it’s important to do a little research online and find out as much as possible. The more you know about the place and its culture, the easier it will be when you get there.

Step 3: Finalize the Minor Details 

Once you’ve got the right role and found a city you’d like to visit, it’s time to hammer out those final details. Finding short-term lets can often be the hardest part, but you can get decent enough deals on Airbnb and Uniplaces. You will also need to pick a co-working space you can use while you’re abroad. Not only is a workspace a great place to meet fellow nomads, but it will also keep you sane when you have deadlines to hit. Apps like Croissant allow you to find flexible spaces and book online ahead of time. 

If all of the above sounds like a headache, there is another option. Travel companies, such as Remote Year and WiFi Tribe, can take care of everything from your accommodation and co-working space to flights, trips, and excursions. When you go with one of the package deals they offer, you will travel with a group of like-minded workers over the course of several months or even an entire year. Simple. 

Step 4: Meeting Fellow Nomads 

digital nomad beyond words 3

Let’s not beat around the bush – traveling to a foreign country alone is scary. Scratch that, it’s absolutely, positively terrifying. When you arrive, you’ll come up against the biggest obstacle of all. Perhaps for the first time in your adult life, you’re going to need to make friends. Thankfully, you won’t be alone for long. Here are some of the resources you can use:

Bumble BFF: The well-known dating app isn’t just for finding ‘the one.’ It actually has a friend-finding feature, too, called BFF. Create a profile and start swiping for new contacts in your area. Why not arrange a friend date?

Facebook Groups: Search groups for a ‘digital nomad’ community in your area. You should find that there are loads of options, including female-only groups. Of course, you should always put your safety first when meeting people online. 

Meetup: Want to meet interesting people who share your interests? The Meetup app is the way to go. Once you’ve downloaded the app and set up a profile, you can start searching for groups in your area, such as wine and book clubs. 

Ready to take the leap and become a digital nomad? If you’re filled with wanderlust but need to work to live, it’s the ideal solution. This brief guide should have given you an overview of the basics. However, it’s important to realize that there are many different ways you can make this lifestyle work for you. Start researching destinations and schemes today and see what you can find out. After all, there’s a great big world out there!

3 Simple Attitude Adjustments for Better Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance is all in your head.

But closing your eyes and visualizing an empty inbox or a completed to-do list isn’t quite enough to take you from stress-emailing under the table all through dinner to a full night’s rejuvenating rest free of work-themed dreams (or nightmares).

One of the worst side effects of work creeping into your personal life is all the feelings of negativity and guilt: they somehow seem to slip right past the five o’clock cutoff to accompany us on our commute home, through family hour, couch potato time, and straight into bed with us, where we wake up the next morning to their screaming with the voice of a menacing alarm clock.

If you want to leave work at work, you need to unwind your mind and put work in its place.

Me-time is a lost cause when all you can think about is office time. Try these three simple attitude adjustments to start your transformation from overworked, overstressed corporate burn-out to balanced, whole person with respect and reverence for your own personal time.

 

Attitude Adjustment #1: Swap prescriptive thinking for descriptive thinking

In our hectic professional lives, we devote unrecoverable quantities of time and energy to fretting about what we should have already done or really ought to be doing right now, realities and constraints of the current situation be damned.

Most of us are should-ing all over ourselves by late afternoon: I should’ve had a shorter lunch, how did I spend an hour and a half on that meeting, I ought to have finished this project an hour ago… But that kind of prescriptive thinking, prescribing what we think ideally should be happening despite the circumstances and constraints around it, is just making us more neurotic and stealing our time.

Handsome man working

The attitude adjustment: drop the prescription and switch to descriptive thinking, simply observing your situation without judgment and reporting to yourself on it: “Today I expected to spend one hour on this project. It took nearly three hours.”

Avoid the knee-jerk reflex to wag a mental finger in your own face, and instead take a dose of reflection: Why did this take me three hours? Did I forget to set aside time for research, preparation, etc.? Did something happen outside my control to change my schedule today? Was I maybe just not feeling particularly motivated?

These questions are infinitely more useful than berating yourself for not living up to your ideal reality. Should focuses on a past that you’ve already lost control of, while descriptive thinking is all about observing what happened today to better take on tomorrow.

 

Attitude Adjustment #2: Switch time management for energy management

Every day gives you the same 1,440 minutes of opportunity, and no matter how you “manage” those minutes, you’ll never budge that total by a single minute.

All the to-do lists and productivity hacks in the world are impotent against traffic jams, alarm clock malfunctions, gregarious coworkers, and the flu. Instead of starting your work day focused on managing your time, try looking to that other precious resource that you do have some control over: energy.

women working

Just as circadian rhythms like sleep determine our day-to-day physical cycles, we’re also subject to shorter biological rhythms that occur multiple times within a day: ultradian rhythms. And where you find yourself in the throes of these constantly-revving rhythms largely determines your energy levels at any given point throughout the day.

The secret of energy management is finding the rhythm of your own rhythm and moving to it instead of trying to overcome it.

Ultradian rhythms come in cycles of about 90-120 minutes from an energy peak to an energy trough, and those highs and lows are higher and lower at different times of day: Morning people get their most creative and productive work done after a crack-of-dawn yoga session, whereas for others the lightbulb only switches on at 4:00 in the afternoon while the rest of us are slumped over a desk in a pile of empty Starbucks paraphernalia.

By monitoring, understanding, and responding to your body’s own natural energy levels, you can mindfully ask yourself the right questions and deduce how to strategically apply your limited energy. Sometimes better work-life balance is as simple as moving that hour-long email session from your energetic morning hours to the energy-deprived afternoon.

 

Attitude Adjustment #3: Round up with the Rule of Quarters

Hofstadter’s Law is ridiculously simple yet infallibly true and unavoidably relevant to time management: Everything you plan for will take longer than expected.

And the Rule of Quarters is an equally simple and potent way of compensating for our inability to expect the unexpected. Just add 25% to every time estimate on your schedule.

check time watch
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

One hour meeting at noon? Give it an hour and fifteen. Four hours needed to prepare your presentation? Let’s call it five.

For extra efficiency, follow the spirit of this law more closely than its letter. Round everything up to the next hour or logical increment. (Your 35-minute commute is really closer to an hour anyways when you include parking, polite morning hellos, and making a cup of coffee at the office.) And when you feel like your estimate still might be cutting it close, don’t be shy about allotting an hour and a half for the hour-long task.

Indeed, overestimating is where the true bliss of the Rule of Quarters can be found. When you expected your errand to take an hour, planned for an hour and fifteen, but it only took fifty-five minutes, you’ve suddenly gifted yourself a surprise 20 minutes!

accounting working woman
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

The mental separation of work and life is just as important or more than the physical separation of leaving the office and heading home. This week, whenever you catch work stress creeping into the after hours, try checking it with one or all of these three attitude adjustments and get the down time you need and deserve.

10 New Year’s Traditions from Around the World

Smashing plates, burning dummies in the streets, flinging broken appliances through windows—these might sound like alcohol-fueled New Year’s Eve parties, but in other parts of the world, they’re time-honored traditions. Here are 10 fascinating rituals from around the world.

 

Greece

If you thought Santa Claus retired to Cancun—and started surfing to burn off his nearly 336 million cookies—after December 25th, then you forgot about Greece. “Saint Basil the Great gave away all his belongings to the poor. That’s why Greeks believe he’s the Greek Santa Claus,” says Panos Apostolou from SBS Greek. On New Year’s, they set an extra place for him at their tables.  They make donations to charities and give money to their children or their youngest relatives. In some parts of Greece, they also hang wild sea onions, with their bulbs wrapped in foil, above their front doors. Because they continue to grow layers and blossom even when they’re uprooted, they’re said to have magical powers and are symbols of rebirth and good luck.  On Greek Santa Claus’ feast day, parents wake up their children by tapping them on the head with it.

 

Japan

On New Year’s Eve, Japanese families gather together under a heated blanket and watch Kōhaku Uta Gassen,  a special NHK program where popular male and female musicians compete against each other. Then, either for dinner or an evening snack, they slurp year-crossing noodles while wishing for a long life. As midnight nears, Buddhist temples strike their ritual bells with wooden mallets 108 times.  “We symbolically beat out our sins from the past year so we can start the New Year off fresh,” says Reverand Toyokazu Hagio from Honpa Hongwanji Hawaii Betsuin.

 

South Africa

Does your toaster pop out charcoal on its first setting? Then you might want to adopt this South African New Year’s Eve tradition: toss your old furniture out the window at the stroke of midnight. Dating back to the colonial era, it represents letting go of past sorrows for a more hopeful future. But in Johannesburg, South Africa, residents stockpile pots, old couches, and microwaves. Then they chuck them from high-rise buildings with reckless abandon.

 

Denmark

On December 31st, the Danish have a smashing good time. They round up their broken china and hurl it against their friends’ and families’ doors. (No word on whether they volunteer to clean up the mess after.) A measure of popularity, the piles of broken glass ward off bad spirits and welcome happier vibes in the chaos. The Danish also scramble to the highest viewing points in their living rooms and leap into the new year—literally. “It does help to get any tumbles out of the way, pretty early on in the year,” says Alex Aagaard, a self-proclaimed New Year-ologist from Denmark.

 

Spain

At the stroke of midnight on Nochevieja, the last day of the year, Spaniards eat 12 grapes. Each represents good luck for one month of the coming year. Fleshy, sweet, and pale, almost whitish-green in color, these “lucky grapes”  are wrapped in paper bags in early summer and kept covered as they ripen. “They form a peel that’s much finer by not having to fend off … the rain, the sun, or the wind,” says Uva de Mesa Embolsada Vinalopó, a regulatory officer for the Denominación de Origen. “It also makes them quicker to eat. There’s less to swallow.” In Madrid and Barcelona, Spaniards also drop good luck charms like wedding rings or 2 euros into their Cava before the 12 o’clock toast.

 

Chile

In 1995, a family illegally jumped over a cemetery fence to spend New Year’s Eve near their father’s grave. Moved by their selflessness, local officials permanently open cemeteries on December 31st. Since then, families have been encouraged to decorate their loved ones’ graves with Chilean bellflowers, photos, keepsakes, and other souvenirs. While listening to classical music, they share their dead’s favorite foods like chapaleles and arrollado huaso.  They also light small fires next to their graves and sleep there until sunrise on January 1st.

 

Ecuador

Between Christmas and New Year’s, Donald Trump, Spongebob, Pikachu, and Mickey Mouse appear street side. The life-sized mannequins are stuffed with old newspapers or sawdust. On Los Años Viejos, Ecuadorians parade them through the city while men dress as their “widows” and beg for money. In the middle of the night, they set their effigies on fire. This burns away last year’s trials and tribulations and paves the way for nothing but good luck in the coming year. If they jump over the fire twelve times, they also double their happiness and success.

 

Philippines

Circles make the world go round.  They represent wholeness, the Self, timelessness, and all cyclic movement. On New Year’s Eve, Filipinos place 12 round fruits on their tables, a different one for each month of the coming new year. They also scatter Philippine pisos around the house and stash them in their pockets. This keeps their cash flowing past the stroke of midnight.  Hoping to keep Lady Luck by their sides, Filipinos wear polka dot clothing. They also wear red underwear for love, yellow for happiness, or green for money.

 

Finland

It’s no secret that Finland likes to party, but when it comes to New Year’s, it’s less about the glittery mini-dresses and tulle skirts. Instead, it’s more about predicting their future health, wealth, and happiness with molten tin or lead, a practice known as Molybdomancy.  Miniature tin horseshoes are melted in a pan and then poured into a bucket of cold water. The resulting lump of hardened metal is rotated in candlelight to create shadows. A fragile or broken shape indicates that misfortune may be around the corner.  Ships mean that the person may travel in the new year while keys usually suggest career advancement.

 

Belarus

If you’re wondering whether you’ll say, “I do”, in the new year, you might want to book a flight to Belarus. On New Year’s, single women sit in a circle and piles of corn are set in front of them. Then a rooster is let go. Whichever pile of corn he pecks at first determines who’ll get married first. In another game, married women hide items around their single friends’ houses to search for in a “manhunt”.  If they find a ring, they’ll tie the knot with a handsome man.  If they find bread, they’ll likely marry a rich one.

 

Did any of these New Year’s traditions surprise you? Do they make you want to visit that country and experience them firsthand? Let us know in the comments!

The ‘So Bad They’re Good’ Holiday Films On Netflix

Baby, it’s cold outside. (Actually, it’s downright freezing.) As the festive season draws near, so do the dark, chilly evenings. Luckily, that exact combination gives us all an excuse to slip into the coziest pajamas, grab a warm duvet, and settle in for an epic Netflix binge. What’s more, the streaming site has a handful of holiday gifts that you don’t want to miss. Let’s take a look at the ‘so bad they’re actually good’ holiday films on Netflix you have to watch this year.

#1 – The Princess Switch 

Starring ‘High School Musical’ actor, Vanessa Hudgens, ‘The Princess Switch’ is a must-watch for Netflix and rom-com fans. In the vein of the Parent Trap and other life-swapping flicks, the movie sees two miraculously identical characters switch places and walk a mile in one another’s shoes. 

Hudgens plays both an adorable American baker and a British Princess in this wholesome and kooky comedy. The pair soon hatch a plan to swap lives for a couple of days to see how the other half live. You don’t need a crystal ball to predict what happens next, but the movie feels fresh enough to carry the time-old story.

 

#2 – Christmas Inheritance

Before bratty daddy’s girl, Ellen, can inherit the family business, her father sets her a seemingly simple task. She has to deliver a Christmas card to his former partner in the aptly named town, Snow Falls. When a snowstorm hits the region, she’s stranded with no money and no friends to turn to. For the first time in her life, Ellen has to start from scratch and find her way in the world without the help of her family. 

 

#3 – The Christmas Prince 

If you’re looking for a super soppy rom-com that may make you shed a tear, you’ve found it. The Christmas Prince is an absolute cheese-fest of a film, but don’t let that put you off. Despite the slightly predictable (okay, very predictable!) plot, there’s a lot of warmth here and you might find yourself watching the movie again and again. 

 

 #4 – The Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding 

The 2017 movie ‘The Christmas Prince’ was such a hit for the folks at Netflix that they decided to recreate the magic again this year. Yes, the sequel that we did not ask for ‘The Royal Wedding’ is already out on the streaming site. However, if you’re dying to get more of this cute couple in your life, it’s worth a watch.

 

#5 – The Christmas Chronicles 

If it’s your dream to see Kurt Russell playing Santa Claus (and it should be!), The Christmas Chronicles is the Netflix movie for you. While the flick starts with a heart-wrenching twist, which I won’t ruin for you, it soon picks up to a cheerier note. The film starts by introducing us to the Pierce family; Claire, Teddy, and Kate. Soon enough, the man in the red hat arrives and brings a whole load of the festive spirit with him. The kids find themselves on a magical sleigh ride across the US that turns out to be an adventure they’ll never forget.

How Important is Guys Night Out?

In a word?  Very. Everyone needs “me time.” Old, new, single, coupled, permed, bobbed, everyone needs space. But this is mostly important for coupled people. Studies indicate that lack of privacy and/or “me time” significantly accounts for unhappy marriages and bad sex. That’s bad news.

No matter how much fun you have just watching Netflix with your sweetie, or how much the two of you can’t stand to be apart when there’s a birthday party, giving one another a night off to spend with friends or interests is a healthy move for any relationship with future goals. Because (hard as it is to imagine now), you both did have lives before you met. It’s good form to help preserve ties to old friends.

young couple watching TV

When she wants to go to a wine tasting with her friends, I’m totally okay with it, but if I want to go out on the boat to fish, there’s going to be a problem,” said Rick S., 27, graphic designer.

Especially, if you go on a Saturday,” chimed a 35-year old father of two.

There is no Saturday option at my house,” said a 24-year old coder in a new relationship.

Tsk, tsk, we fall in love with boys and men because of who they are. We’re interested in their opinions and tastes, want to learn their interests, anything and everything about what makes them them. Being supportive of a guy’s night out is really just guaranteeing that he continues growing into that awesome person for as long as you know him. It enhances trust between the two of you and creates space for personal growth, including your own.

Men learn from other men and while that has its pros and cons, it’s also how Graham can tell Joe what to do about the rattle in his car. And likely, they’ll bellow a few laughs and share some retold stories and come home feeling inspired. It’s something that comes from that male bond. You do not want to try and squeeze into the bond two guys have over a team’s entire sports history since they were in 6th grade. You need to leave that alone.

When it’s your partner’s night out, it’s also your night to spend however you wish and reap the benefits of being (momentarily) alone. Stay at the studio for a second yoga class; go in search of that tomato plant you’ve been meaning to replace. Invite BFFs over and bask in the glow of a good girlfriend session. Or, of course, go out and hit the town!

Barring any late night phone calls from jail, you’re in for a grateful mate upon return.  Happy people want to make people happy so hopefully, you’ll reap the benefits of this almost immediately. And with some regularity, you’ll quickly see how healthy it is to give each other space for other things.

10 Reasons Having Kids May Not Be For You

Single and married women alike today have something new in common: Roughly half of each group is undecided about having kids. If this describes you, you are not alone – 2014 saw the largest annual birth rate drop since the U.S. Census began.

Ultimately, it is totally fine to not know yet if you want kids, or even to be sure you don’t. Here are 10 of the most common reasons women today say they are on the fence about having kids.

You adore travel.

If you don’t fancy trading in your exotic intercontinental travel plans for a nonstop, non-glamorous domestic itinerary of washer-to-dryer round trips, it may not yet be the right time for you to have kids.

couple adventure
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You can’t imagine life without wine.

Let’s try a little meditation. Sit in a comfortable position. Breathe deeply in and out a few times. Visualize nine long months without a single sip of wine. If this part doesn’t sound fun, you might want to postpone having kids for a bit (or a lot) longer.

cheers wine
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You can’t imagine life without sex.

Oh yes. Or, rather, oh no….as in, oh no, where did all the sex go? And is it ever coming back? With the average new mom waiting 120 days or longer after giving birth to resume intimacy (due to pain, discomfort, body image issues, sleep deprivation and other factors), this is a valid question, and one you may not ever want to hear yourself asking.

couple
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You are loving your slim and trim figure.

In addition to the eight to 11 pounds or so of actual baby in your belly, you can expect to gain anywhere from 17 to 26 extra pounds during your pregnancy (up to nine of which will likely be pure stored fat).

girl water bikini
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You are single and “actively looking.”

Dudes with baby strollers in Central Park (or anywhere) still retain a fairly decent chance of scoring a date. But gals with a stroller may all too easily find their park time dominated by doting grannies instead. Not to mention that the moment you conceive, your mind may readily turn from fantasies of necking to fantasies of napping for the foreseeable future.

woman on laptop
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You enjoy taking the time to prepare gourmet meals.

You will still have the task of preparing meals, but the gourmet aspect will likely look a lot more like pureed apples and squash than mint-parsley ceviche or shrimp bouillabaisse.

seafood cooking
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You like checking your bank balance and watching it grow.

Recent estimates show that having and raising one child tends to cost the average family around a quarter of a million dollars (and that figure doesn’t include college tuition).

mercedes car
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You are super happy in your relationship.

Guess what 67 percent of couples cite as a major cause of relationship discord? If you guessed it’s having kids, you’re right.  In other words, if the phrase “marital slump” doesn’t sound appealing, you might want to move any thoughts of having a baby to the back burner.

black and white couple
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You are pretty (or very) happy with the way your life is now.

If you have a kid, prepare for all that to change, unless you can afford the kind of star-studded post-delivery care that makes your actual hands-on participation in parenting a totally optional task. The harsher reality is that most new parents report a significant reduction in their own personal sense of well-being following the birth of their first child. Eep!

girl jumping
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You think the world is already overpopulated.

‘Nuff said.

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5 Yoga Poses for People Who Sit A Lot

If you feel like sitting in front of a computer from 9 to 5 is slowly killing you, you’re not too far off. Sitting too much is seriously bad for your health. “[But] yoga can help declutter your mind and allow you to refocus on your priorities. It combats poor posture, muscle soreness, and lower back pain by releasing endorphins into your body’s system,” says Sophie George, the founder of Firefly Yoga. Ready to take a stand? Here are five yoga poses (with modifications) that will undo the damage of your desk job.

 

Standing Forward Bend with Shoulder Opener (Uttanasana)

uttanasana beyond words

Bust workplace anxiety, depression, and insomnia with a standing forward bend. Start in Mountain Pose. Clasp your hands behind your back. Then take a deep breath to open your chest. Exhale and fold forward, letting your head fall toward the ground while shifting your weight to the fronts of your feet. Hold for one minute.

Modifications: Stiff? Use a resistance band to clasp your hands behind your back and bend your elbows.

 

Camel Pose (Ustrasana)

ustrasana beyond words

Relieve neck and back pain by bending into Camel Pose. Begin by kneeling with your knees hip-distance apart. Then rotate your thighs slightly inward, and push your shins and the tops of your feet into the floor. Rest your hands on the back of your pelvis with the bases of your palms on the tops of your buttocks and your fingers pointing down. Stretch your tailbone toward the floor and widen the back of your pelvis. Lean back. Tuck your chin slightly toward your chest and press your palms into your heels. Hold for 30 to 60 seconds.

Modifications: If you’re not flexible, keep your thumbs on your sacrum and pull your lower belly up and in to work your inner thighs and pelvic floor. Prevent lower back pain.  When you bring your fingertips to your heels, curl your toes.

 

Gate Pose (Parighasana)

parighasana beyond words

If you need a little breathing room at the office, you can open up your ribcage and your lungs—relieving asthma, allergies, and colds—with Gate Pose. Kneel on the floor with your hips and buttocks lifted up off your legs.  Then slide your right leg straight out to the side with your foot flat on the floor and your toes facing the side wall. Inhale your left arm, palm upward, toward the ceiling while keeping your right hand resting palm down on your right thigh, shin, or ankle. Then exhale your left arm to the right, dropping it over your ear. Slide your right palm down toward your toes. Keep your chin off of your chest, looking straight ahead.  Hold for up to one minute. Repeat on the other side.

Modifications: Place a folded blanket under your bent knee.

 

Extended Puppy Pose (Uttana Shishosana)

uttana shishosana beyond words

Extended Puppy Pose works the kinks out of your spine and shoulders. Start in Table Top Position. Then slowly walk your hands forward a few inches, lowering your chest down toward the ground.  Gently drop your forehead to the floor. Draw your shoulder blades onto your back and stretch your hips toward the ceiling. Then press into the palms of your hands and lift your elbows and forearms away from the ground. Breathe into your back, feeling your spine lengthen in both directions. Hold for up to a minute.

Modifications: Use a rolled-up blanket or bolster between your thighs and calves.  If you have back spasms, place a yoga block—or large book—between your feet and another between your inner thighs.

 

Reverse Warrior (Viparita Virabhadrasana)

reverse warrior yoga poses

Reverse Warrior clears your mind and skyrockets your confidence, focus, and willpower. Start in Mountain Pose. Then spread your feet 3.5 to 4 feet apart, turning your right foot 90 degrees while pivoting your left foot slightly inwards. Raise your arms out to the side to shoulder height. Exhale and bend your front knee, aligning it directly over the ankle of your front foot. Then flip your right palm over to face the ceiling, and raise your right arm up overhead and begin to reach up and back. Place your left hand, palm down, gently on the outside of your left leg. Keep your hips and shoulders square so that you can achieve a side bend. Tilt your head slightly and bring your gaze to your right hand’s fingertips. Hold for 30 to 45 seconds.

Modifications: If you have tight hips, shorten your stance and straighten your front leg. No upper-body strength?  Place your hands on your hips and work on lifting your chest and lengthening your spine.

6 Things to Know About Buying a House

Owning a home is a huge milestone in any person’s life and an essential part of the American dream. It’s an exciting stepping stone, it goes without saying — not to mention that under the right circumstances, it can be a sound investment of your money. Before you go shopping, though, there are a few important things to know about buying a house.

woman holding keys to new house

6 Things to Know About Buying a House

1. It’s Going to Cost You More Than You Think

No, seriously. Take whatever you thought you were going to spend and add on another $5,000 to $10,000.

Aside from houses being expensive, period, there are always unforeseen costs. You’re going to need to fix something, replace something, upgrade something, or you’ll owe a fee you weren’t aware of. Random people are going to come at you from every direction with their hands outstretched asking for your hard-earned money.

Don’t panic, because this will pass. Buying a house is a ton of money upfront, but once you get past that hump, your monthly expenses — your mortgage, HOA, utilities, etc. — won’t change much.

2. Looks Can Be Deceiving

Buying a house that’s pretty is important. Buying a house that’s well-built and functioning properly is important-er. Does your potential new home have clean carpeting and freshly painted walls? Sweet! What about the plumbing, heating and air conditioning, and water heater?

These things are hidden to the house hunter, but if you go with a home that has faulty appliances, you’re in for a big bill later on down the road. In addition to aesthetics, make sure the inner workings of your potential house meet your standards.

man and woman learning things to know about buying a house

3. Consider How Long You Plan to Stay

Do you plan to move again within the next five years? Then you might want to reconsider buying a home at all because that’s roughly how long it takes to recoup your costs. Plus, selling it after less than two years of living in it could spell bad news for your taxes.

If you don’t plan to get comfortable and stay put for a while, renting might be the better option for you.

4. Look Beyond the House

Finding the perfect house is a huge victory, but there are other factors to consider. Is the area quiet, or does the house sit right off a major road or highway? What are the crime rates like in the area? If you have kids (or plan to have kids), is it a good school district? Where in the neighborhood is the house situated? Some people swear if the house is on a corner lot, it’s likelier to be broken into.

It’s important that you have a wider perspective when determining if you’ve found the best house for you.

man and woman unpacking boxes at new house

5. Review All of Your Finances

Any way you slice it, buying a home is expensive, but that’s not an excuse to be financially irresponsible.

Before you start house hunting, you need to ensure your finances are in order. Beyond the purchase price of the house, do you have enough money set aside for the down payment? Nerdwallet says this is about 20% of the purchase price.

You’ll also want to make sure you’re in the best position possible to secure a mortgage. Do you have money in your savings? Banks don’t like to loan money to people who are living paycheck to paycheck. What other debts do you have? Are they under control? Have you missed any payments or been late?

The better prepared you are before making a move, the easier the transition will be.

6. Shop Within Your Means

Well before buying a home, you should know one thing for certain: what you can comfortably afford each month — “comfortably” being a key word here.

You should not be shopping for homes beyond what you can pay back on a loan each month. First, get pre-approved for a loan, so you’ll know how much you’ll get, maximum. Second, take a look at your monthly income and expenses to know what you can afford.

Don’t push the boundaries! You might have $2,000 “to spare” each month, but that doesn’t mean you have to put all of it toward a mortgage. Living slightly below your means will do wonders for your stress levels.