Category Archives: HOMEPAGE – BALANCE

Day it Forward – January 2020

We believe that every individual has the ability to make a difference in our world, and we want to give our readers a chance to bring attention to a cause important to them.

Every month, readers are encouraged to submit the charity of his/her choice by sharing a charity on one of our social media posts (or Sylvia’s)!

Your submissions will be reviewed by bestselling author Sylvia Day and she will select one or more to personally contribute to for the month. The selected charity will be featured in the next month’s Day it Forward to bring more awareness to its cause and allow for readers of Beyond Words to learn about and possibly donate to help its cause, too.

The charities Sylvia has chosen for the month of January 2020 are WWF-Australia’s Koala Crisis Fund and the Australian Red Cross.

WWF

WWF-Australia is one of Australia’s most trusted conservation organizations. WWF works in Australia and throughout Asia-Pacific to protect endangered species and habitats, meet the challenge of climate change, and build a world where people live in harmony with nature.

Australian Red Cross

The Australian Red Cross supports and empowers people and communities in times of vulnerability. Their purpose is to reduce suffering across Australia and internationally through mobilizing the power of humanity.

Sylvia donated $750 USD ($1032 AUD) to each charity, and you can, too, here (WWF-Australia) and here (Australian Red Cross).

If you would like to submit a charity to Day it Forward for the month of February, please comment on our Facebook page, Instagram, or Twitter #DayItForward post(s) or Sylvia’s Facebook page, Instagram, or Twitter #DayItForward post(s). We appreciate and consider all submissions!

A Trip to Basque Country Without Leaving the Kitchen

In a country famous for epic cuisine, one Spanish region reigns supreme: Basque Country. Nestled in the Pyrenees along the French border, the Basque region, which for centuries tried to establish itself as an independent nation, has a culture and personality uniquely its own. This is especially evident in its culinary traditions, which are distinct from other styles of Spanish cooking.

Bordered to the east by the Bay of Biscay, a gulf of the Atlantic, Basque Country is heavily influenced by the sea. Fresh seafood is a quintessential part of the cuisine, often flavored with a rich hodgepodge of Spanish and French ingredients. Unlike other coastal areas, however, the Basque region is also fertile ground for livestock, vegetables and legumes. Grilled meats and rich stews are also staples of the Basque diet. It’s truly surf and turf at its finest!

With access to such diverse, high quality ingredients, it’s not surprising that the Basque people take food very seriously. In fact, though it spans just over 8,000 square miles, the Basque region is home to 38 Michelin-starred restaurants, including four with the coveted three-star rating.

If you’re a gourmand who hates to share, you’ll feel at home here. Order up some pintxos, small tapas-style plates built for one. They’re a fixture on virtually every bar menu, and are also enjoyed as street food and midday snacks.

Ready for a bite of Basque Country? Try these simple, traditional recipes for Basque food at home any night of the week.

 


 

Gildas

This classic pintxo makes a great appetizer or snack to enjoy with a cold pint.

Gildas recipe

Directions:

  1. Lightly dust tomato chunks with paprika.
  2. Place five whole parsley leaves on each anchovy, then loop the fish over to form a horseshoe shape.
  3. Skewer a pepper onto one end of a toothpick. Follow with the anchovy, a piece of tomato and finish with a stuffed olive. Repeat with remaining toothpicks and ingredients.
  4. Drizzle finished gildas with olive oil and sprinkle with smoked salt.

 


 

 

Sopa de ajo (Garlic Soup)

Great restaurant dining doesn’t come at the expense of home cooking in Basque country. This earthy garlic soup is perfect for chilly nights or when you’re feeling a bit under the weather. Piment d’espelette is a seasoning made from dried espelette peppers, native to the Basque region. Look for it in specialty stores or online.

Garlic_Soup recipe

Directions:

  1. In a large saucepan or Dutch oven, warm oil over medium heat. Add half of the garlic and sauté until fragrant, about 3 minutes.
  2. Add potatoes, cayenne, water and remaining garlic; stir to combine. Bring mixture to a boil then reduce to simmer, covered.
  3. Continue to cook until potatoes are falling apart, about 45 minutes. Using a potato masher, gently mash potatoes until just a few small chunks remain.
  4. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Stir in parsley and cook for 5 more minutes.
  5. Ladle soup into bowls and serve garnished with piment d’espelette, if desired.

 


 

 

Basque Chicken with Chorizo

Adapted from Chef Daniel Boulud, this chicken dish is a one-pan wonder showcasing bold Basque flavors.

Chicken_Chorizo recipe

Directions:

  1. In a large skillet, cook chorizo over moderate heat until lightly browned, about 5 minutes. Transfer chorizo to a plate using a slotted spoon.
  2. Add olive oil to any rendered fat in the skillet. Season chicken with salt and pepper, add to pan and cook over medium high heat until well browned on both sides, about 15 minutes. Transfer chicken to plate with chorizo.
  3. Add bell pepper, onion, garlic and thyme to the skillet and cook over moderate heat until barely softened, about 5 minutes. Add tomatoes, sherry, paprika and crushed red pepper and cook for another minute, scraping up any browned bits from the pan.
  4. Return chicken and chorizo to the skillet. Cover and simmer over medium low heat, turning occasionally, until the chicken is cooked through, about 25 minutes.
  5. Raise heat to medium and cook, uncovered, until the sauce is slightly thickened, about 10 minutes.
  6. Transfer chicken to a platter. Spoon sauce over chicken and serve garnished with basil.

 


 

 

Salt Cod Biscayne Style

Salt cod, or bacalao, is a staple of the Basque diet. Follow the 24-hour soaking method below to prep the pantry-friendly standby for virtually any recipe.

Salt_Cod

Directions:

  1. In a large bowl, submerge cod completely in cold water. Allow to soak for 24 hours, changing the water every 6 hours (changing the water ensures the fish won’t be too salty). Once soaked, shred fish into small pieces, removing any bones or cartilage.
  2. In a large saucepan, heat oil. Add onion, sauté for 3 minutes, then add garlic and sauté for an additional minute. Add the cod and tomatoes; stir and cover. Simmer for 10 minutes.
  3. Add olives, capers, cloves, cayenne and cinnamon. Stir until well combined. Simmer for another 2 minutes, then add parsley and boiled potatoes. Season with salt and pepper to taste and remove from heat.
  4. Serve in a shallow bowl with a chunk of crusty baguette on the side.

 


 

 

Basque Lamb Stew

This hearty dish is a great weekend recipe. It makes enough for lunch and/or dinner all week, plus it freezes beautifully.

Lamb_stew recipe

Directions:

  1. In a large bowl, combine rosemary, white wine and half of the garlic. Add lamb and marinate for 2 to 3 hours, ensuring meat is completely submerged.
  2. Drain lamb and pat dry with paper towels. Discard marinade.
  3. In a large, heavy-bottomed pan, heat 1 tablespoon of oil. Working in batches, brown lamb on all sides and season with salt and pepper, adding oil as needed. Set aside.
  4. To the same pan, add remaining olive oil and chopped onion. Sauté until fragrant, about 3 minutes, then add garlic and sauté an additional minute.
  5. Return the meat to the pan with the onions and garlic. Stir in paprika, roasted peppers, tomatoes, parsley, bay leaf and red wine. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium and simmer uncovered for 15 minutes, allowing the liquids to reduce slightly.
  6. Add the chicken stock, bring to a boil, reduce heat to low and simmer, covered, stirring occasionally, until meat is very tender for about 2 to 2 1/2 hours.
  7. Ladle into bowls and season with salt and pepper, to taste.

 

 

How to Make a Gourmet, Eco-Friendly Feast

By this point in history, you’ve probably learned how to make a nutritious, healthy dinner. Start off with some local, healthy, fresh greens, feature a small portion of organic, locally produced, lean meat, and then stuff an enormous pizza in your freezer for later when you’re sad and starving. Or maybe just—make those greens taste great.

You might know how to make joyless vitamins taste like high-class fat, but making a meal that’s actually good for the environment is a whole other feat altogether. One of the biggest polluters in America isn’t your local coal plant or highway factory—it’s your neighborhood farm, pumping out more greenhouse gases than any other industry in the country. And most of those gases come from processing meat: close to eight tons, or 22 percent of total emissions, originate in meat alone. Eating one burger is environmentally equivalent to driving a 3,000 pound car 10 miles. Fantastic.

Want to make a meal that not only tastes delicious, but is actually healthy both for you and the world around you? Here’s what we recommend.

 

Shop at the right places.

Shopping organically doesn’t matter as much as shopping locally. Ideally, you’d be able to satisfy both needs, but organic foods sometimes come from tens of thousands of miles away: exacting a huge price in terms of gas emissions. Check your local farmer’s market, consider joining a CSA, (Community Supported Agriculture), and if you only have access to a large-scale supermarket, take a look and see where your produce is coming from. Don’t be afraid to place pressure on your local grocery—consumers have huge voting power.

 

farmers_market_shutterstock_224947675

 

Unless it came from down the block, nix your meats.

As discussed above, it’s next to impossible, given the size and scale of our factory farms, to produce meat that’s not only free of disease, but free of externalities. Grass-fed beef produces the least amount of greenhouse gas, but that meat often travels from afar.  Your safest best is to probably skip the meats in favor of some green, or even carbohydrate-y, deliciousness.

 

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Buy in season.

It’s January, you live in New York, and you feel a big hankering for kiwi. Chances are that kiwi probably travelled tens of thousands of miles in a gas-guzzling airplane just to get to your mostly indifferent stomach. Find fruits and vegetables that match the season and the salad and maybe the dishware.

 

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Go raw.

Energy that would have otherwise been spent on cooking carrots can now be spent on eating them. Everybody wins. Except for the carrot.

 

carrots_shutterstock_137051636

 

Make a lot of it.

Over 40 percent, or, approximately $165 billion dollars worth of food in America is never eaten, at an outrageously huge cost to the environment. Simplest solution? Double the amount you make and then—using all of your inner strength—eat it.

 

stir_fry_shutterstock_145551190

 

Grow it in your backyard.

The closest grocery store might be miles away, but the closest farm could be your grassy backyard. Cut down on travel time and eat shockingly local, all within striking distance of your bed. Or, if you live in a metropolitan area and have more of a “fire escape” backyard, consider joining your local community garden (or nagging a community garden friend).

 

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The best trick of all? Make something you won’t hate.

If there’s one thing we can learn from barely verbal toddlers, it’s that if our bodies don’t like something—they will reject it. The more food we waste by not eating (or by putting it in the freezer in cute little bags and “pretending to eat later”), the greater the cost to our environment. Sometimes, the secret to eating right is summoning all your strength, mustering all your courage, and just eating what you like.

 

cheers_shutterstock_285854987

Meet the Most Badass Moms of America

Say the word “mom” and you’ll probably—depending how much terrible television you grew up with—think one of the following: khaki pants, roomy jeans, school lunches, air conditioned cars, supermarket u-hauls, coupon collections. Of course, these are all miserable stereotypes, but they exert real influence, conscious and unconscious, on the American imagination. The media has mothered our vision of mothering.

That’s why it’s important to highlight the moms of this world that aren’t just challenging exhausted stereotypes, but doing real, hardcore, social justice work in their communities and families. Activism typically (in our cultural imagination) belongs to boys and their fathers—yet it’s often women who serve on the frontlines.

Here’s a look at some of the most badass moms in America doing some of the hardest work in America—compassion, with a vengeance.

 

1. The Mothers Against Senseless Killings

Every summer, hundreds of young kids in Chicago die due to gun violence. While the problem has lessened somewhat in recent years, it’s a brutal reality for many of the youth living in the Englewood neighborhood. So a group of moms known as MASK (Mothers Against Senseless Killings) recently decided to start patrolling the Chicago city streets, hoping to keep their kids safe from violence. Founded by Englewood resident Tamar Manasseh, moms hit the streets every day from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m, checking in with neighborhood kids, cooking hot dogs and hamburgers, and looking for potential trouble. The police alone have been unable to keep the neighborhood safe, so these moms stepped in. “I’m a mom who hasn’t lost her kids, and I don’t want to,” Manasseh told ABC7.

 

2. Michelle Obama

First lady, supermom, and outrageously instrumental in the (now successful) fight against American obesity. Is there anything Michelle Obama can, or has done, wrong? Short answer: no.

 

3. Tina Fey

Not only is she seen as one the “funniest women alive in America,” Tina Fey is also a proud mom of kids she’s not too private to make fun of. She’s making huge inroads for women in public life and women in comedy, and continues to be jaw-droppingly successful.

 

4. Shonda Rhimes

Producer, director, writer, and badass mom Shonda Rhimes was listed as one of TIME Magazine’s “100 People Who Shaped The World” in 2014. Not only does Shonda successfully manage multiple jobs, multiple programs (Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice) and three daughters, she was the mastermind behind Scandal, rated the most “highly addictive show on television” by pretty much everyone who saw it.

 

5. Vanessa Howard

Vanessa Howard is a mom, and a formerly homeless woman. For her, taking control of her fashion and body was critical to moving out of homelessness. That’s why she decided to subsidize a free spa day for other mothers and their children, hoping that the free makeovers will give women confidence. “I was once not having a place to stay with children and having no hope and having no dignity and so that’s what’s inspired me,” Howard said.

 

6. Jenny Morretter

Jenny Morretter’s daughter, Mackenzie, struggles with Sotos syndrome, a disorder that makes it difficult for her to build relationships. When Morretter recently decided to throw her daughter a 10th birthday party, no one responded to her invite. Morretter was heartbroken, but instead of falling into despair, she decided to take action. She went on Facebook and shared Mackenzie’s story with a few select groups, hoping to get more responses. After posting her stories, hundreds of people not only replied, but showed up to Mackenzie’s party, rewarding a 10-year-girl with a brand-new community of friends.

 

7. Moms Demand Action For Gun Sense in America

31 Americans die every day at the hands of a gun, and 55 kill themselves with a firearm. Over one in three Americans know someone who has been shot. To help stop the epidemic of violence, a group of mothers got together to organize against gun violence by hitting the phones and slamming the streets. Some like to say that “these women are the NRA’s worst nightmare.”

 

8. Alice Dreger

By now, it’s clear that for many teenagers, abstinence-only education simply doesn’t work. That’s why Alice Dreger, mother of a son in an abstinence-only sex class, decided to take action. Dreger sat in on her son’s class and chose to live-tweet it, posting such juicy nuggets as, “You’ll find a good girl. If you find one that says “No,” that’s the one you want. HE ACTUALLY JUST SAID THAT.”

Dreger, a writer already, obviously, and deservedly, went viral.

 

Pros and Cons of Going Paleo

It’s the diet craze du jour for celebrities and serious nutritionistas alike, but what does the Paleolithic diet, a.k.a. “going paleo,” actually entail? Broadly, it means eating only what our primitive ancestors did: meat and fish, eggs, nuts and seeds, vegetables and fruit. Strictly off-limits foods include dairy, grain products and anything processed. Sounds like it could be healthy…but how difficult is it to eat like a caveman in 2015?

Let’s start with the facts. The modern paleo diet was introduced in the 1970’s by a nutritionist and exercise physiologist named Dr. Loren Cordain. He contends that advances in food production and processing have changed food more rapidly than our digestive systems have evolved to process it. We cannot adequately digest many modern-day processed foods, he says, resulting in increased risk for a host of chronic diseases.

Cordain’s theory remains a topic of debate among nutritionists, but that hasn’t stopped the paleo diet’s boom in popularity. Dozens of variations exist, each with its own slightly tweaked set of rules and promises of unique health benefits. Among the most widely followed is the version espoused by Dr. Mark Hyman, who famously counseled the Clintons after Bill’s quadruple bypass surgery in 2004, which emphasizes diet as a means to detoxify the body and cure disease.

In spite of its popularity, however, the paleo diet recently placed dead last in U.S. News & World Report’s 2015 Best Diet rankings. Evaluated by a panel of dieticians and health experts, paleo came in at number 35 of 35 trending diet plans, based on a variety of factors including nutrition, safety and probability of weight loss.

If you’re thinking of going paleo, first weigh the pros and cons:

Pro: You’ll Eat Only Unprocessed, Whole Foods

While there’s much debate among nutritionists about the “ideal” diet, virtually all agree that there are major health advantages to eating fewer processed foods, especially those high in sugar.

Con: It’s Highly Restrictive

The list of forbidden foods for paleo dieters is lengthy, which could make it difficult to stick to long term. Beans and legumes are not allowed, a definite downer for non-meat eaters.

 

paleo diet

Pro: It’s a Nutrient-Rich Diet

Unlike cleanses and other hyper-restrictive weight loss plans, the paleo diet packs plenty of nutrients. Protein is definitely not in short supply and with proper meal planning you’ll also get loads of vitamins, fiber and even calcium (coconut and dark, leafy greens are good, paleo-friendly sources).

Con: Eating More Meat is Costly for You and the Environment

According to Cordain, over 50% of the paleo dieter’s calories should come from animal protein. That can add up to a hefty grocery bill. There’s also the steep environmental cost, including greenhouse gas emissions, deforestation and water pollution.

 

paleo diet juice

Pro: You’ll Probably Cook A Lot More

The paleo diet’s numerous restrictions, including butter and vegetable oil, make take-out and restaurant dining a challenge.

Con: You Might Gain Weight

One of the diet’s major pitfalls is that it can be very high in saturated fat, which can quickly add up to extra pounds. If you’re considering the Paleolithic diet for weight loss, be sure to moderate your red meat intake.

 

paleo diet steak_edited

Bottom Line:

The paleo diet can be a useful tool to kickstart healthier eating habits, but it requires some planning and make-ahead meal prep. Load up on nutrient-rich veggies and lean protein, like poultry and fish, to keep saturated fat low and the odds of slimming down high.

Dinner, Delivered with a Side of DIY

City dwellers have always enjoyed the perks of delivery, an unspoken quid pro quo of eschewing the conveniences of Suburbia. While the novelty of 3 AM egg rolls at your door may have faded with age, a new generation of meal delivery services is aiming to take its place. The concept is simple, but genius: Deliver all of the nutrition and satisfaction of a home-cooked meal in a format that’s as easy as ordering take-out.

In recent years, a slew of new companies has started offering meal kit delivery, each promising freedom from the tyranny of meal planning and grocery shopping. A typical kit includes one recipe and everything you need to make it, down to that single tablespoon of vinegar (everything arrives pre-measured) or pinch of saffron. In addition to convenience, these services claim to be a waist-watchers best friend, thanks to fresh ingredients and strictly controlled portion size.

For the busy gourmet or the bloated Seamless addict, it sounds like it could be a dream come true. But how do these services stack up? And is it really worth saying “sayonara” to your grocery store forever? Before you make your decision, check out this review of five major players in the meal kit delivery game.

 

Blue Apron

Blue Apron

A pioneer in the field, Blue Apron has quickly grown a following of loyal customers around the country. It offers two meal plans, one for couples (or friends or roommates) and one for families, designed to feed four to six people. After choosing your menu type — either “meat and fish” or “vegetarian” — Blue Apron selects recipes for you, which you have the option to change. If you’re new to the whole “cooking” thing, don’t sweat it. Blue Apron’s recipes are virtually foolproof, thanks to easy step-by-step instructions and accompanying photos. Bite for bite, Blue Apron runs average to slightly less expensive than its competitors. The two-person plan costs $9.99 per serving with a minimum commitment of six meals or $60 per week; the family plan is $8.99 per serving with a minimum of two meals or $71.92 per week.

 


 

Plated

Plated
Plated

If you’re chefing to impress, Plated could be the service for you. Though pricier than other options — $12 per person for regular meals — Plated offers diners the ease of delivery combined with the flare of a special occasion. With menu choices like “Indonesian Beef Rendang” and “Roasted White Sweet Potatoes with Chinese Broccoli and Flowering Chives”, Plated is a sure-fire escape from the weeknight recipe rut.

 

 

 


 

Hello Fresh

Hello Fresh
Hello Fresh

With the meal kit delivery market reaching saturation, Hello Fresh sets itself apart by promising the very freshest ingredients possible. A recent informal survey of friends (who had used the service — and who also happen to be restaurant chefs) confirmed it lives up to the hype. All ingredients were top quality (they exclusively use premium brand Murray’s chicken, for example) and arrived looking and smelling just-off-the-farm. Hello Fresh has another distinguishing factor, for better or worse: the absence of calorie restrictions. While most delivered kit meals fall between 500 and 600 calories per plate, Hello Fresh averages around 900 calories, though the recipes are created by an in-house dietician and not lacking in nutrients. Hello Chef costs roughly the same as most of its competitors, around $10 per meal, but vegetarians take note: while omnivores can enjoy a range of meal choices, meat-free offerings are limited.

 

 


 

Green Blender

Box-and-ingredients_green blender
Green Blender

No time to cook, even if it’s kit-style? No problem. A service called Green Blender invites you to sip your nutrients instead. Created by a fitness blogger fed up with “glorified milkshakes” parading around as health food, Green Blender offers a rotating lineup of smoothie recipes with pre-portioned, seasonal produce and “superfoods”, like chia and flaxseeds. Each delivery includes five pouches to make five different smoothies. With flavors like Tropical Mojito and Sacha Inchi Orange Creamsicle, Green Blender offers a taste of the exotic delivered to your door. At $10 per serving, Green Blender costs about the same as other meal delivery services. Unlike those competitors, however, Green Blender does expect you to own a knife and a cutting board for basic prep like chopping.

 


 

Home Chef

Home Chef

More of a newcomer to the DIY dinner scene, Home Chef is gaining popularity with high-end foodies. That’s because the recipes, 10 different options per week, come from restaurant chefs. The instructions are definitely geared toward the home cook, however. This service also boasts the advantage of allowing diners to prioritize low carb or low-calorie menu choices, and to register any allergies or dietary restrictions, like gluten. Starting at $7.99 per serving, Home Chef is priced in line with the competition, but, sorry, California friends; it’s currently only available in 30 states across the East Coast and Midwest.

 

6 Amazing Apps to Help You Unwind

You may think that the moment you slip off your work shoes and flick on the TV, you unwind. That the ball of yarn in your stomach, which has been winding tighter and tighter all day, will begin to unravel all by itself. Sadly, that’s not always how it works. You need to actively seek out that rest. You deserve it. It’s not easy to find a spare moment in which to have some much-needed “you time.”

By using these six apps, you can ensure you give yourself every possible chance to chill out whenever and wherever you happen to be.

1. Meditation made easy – Headspace

Sometimes, life gets caught in fast-forward mode. You’re watching the scenes play out, but things are going faster and faster, and you have a grand total of zero control. You want to hit pause. Well, you can. Headspace allows you to do just that. Rather than diving you head-first into the deep world of meditation, the app offers a simple introductory course. For the first 10 days, you have to spare just 10 minutes. Soothing sounds accompanied by a calm voice take you through every step. This course should guide you and teach you some of the basic strategies you’ll need, should you wish to incorporate mindfulness into your lifestyle. After the introductory period is up, you’ll have the option to pay a small subscription for the full version. Failing that, you can simply keep using the free app. The bite size meditation sessions can fit seamlessly into even the most hectic of lifestyles.

2. Wind down – Sleep Easy by Shazzie

Similar to Headspace, the Sleep Easy app offers a step-by-step course, which promises to teach you how to meditate and, ultimately, switch off. Shazzie is the writer and founder of the app. She is also an expert in so-called “life transformation programs.” The app features a 26-minute recording which seeks to help you drop off to a meditative sleep state. By the end of the sound bite, the app creator promises you will be “refreshed, renewed and resonating so much more from your heart and a place of stillness.”

3. Slumber in peace – Infinite Storm

infinite stormInsomnia is an increasingly common problem, and one which is oh-so-densely related to stress and anxiety. Spending the twilight hours counting sheep and praying to nod off to never-neverland is no healthy way to rest. According to one intriguing study, introducing white noise into the bedroom environment encourages 73% of children to drop to sleep naturally. There’s no reason that should not apply to adults as well. White noise can be anything from mechanically generated sounds to natural noises, such as rainfall. Infinite Storm is a free app that allows you to choose from a range of sound effects which will help you slumber peacefully. From “heavy storm” to “tin roof rain,” there’s a broad array of options. Choosing the right one for you is most certainly a game of trial and error. It’s worth experimenting with the choices a while, until you find the one that aids your sleep best.

4. Simple breathing tips – Breathe2Relax

This easy-to-use app describes itself as a “stress management tool,” but it can be so much more than that. In times of great pressure, your breathing becomes more and more shallow. Simply put, your brain fails to get the oxygen it needs, and this issue serves to exacerbate the problem. The solution is simple: diaphragmatic breathing. This app teaches you how to control your breathing by using straightforward self-training devices. You may not think that you need an app to help you do what comes naturally; but once you start using it, you’ll reap the rewards.

5. Find your Zen – Calm

calm appIf you’ve ever visited Calm.com, you’ll find the premise of this app is much the same as the site. The web page offers an array of calming sounds, which you can set to a timer on the background of your desktop. While the app version offers this function, it also includes a rather interesting “7 Steps to Calm” program. The instructive guide will teach you vital meditation skills, such as maintaining the correct posture and taking the time to evaluate how you really feel. If you’re new to the world of meditation, this app is a beginner’s crash course in the astounding art.

6. Drift off fast – Power Nap App

power nap appDo you feel drained and slovenly at times? Well, you’re not alone. Many of us experience these feelings, especially when we don’t allow ourselves the rest we need to function. Having a quick power nap may make all the difference. According to the National Sleep Foundation, a 20- to 30-minute sleep can increase alertness and help you rejuvenate your mind. Of course, there is always the unfaltering fear that you will fall into the deepest of sleeps and not wake up on time. The Power Nap App helps you avoid just that problem. You can set a timer of up to 30 minutes for your sleep. During that time, the app plays you pleasantly soothing sounds, such as birds and thunder. When the time is up, you’ll be awoken by your chosen alarm, such as bells or even soft piano music. If you’re struggling to fit a quick sleep into your day, this could be the app for you.

3 Simple Attitude Adjustments for Better Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance is all in your head.

But closing your eyes and visualizing an empty inbox or a completed to-do list isn’t quite enough to take you from stress-emailing under the table all through dinner to a full night’s rejuvenating rest free of work-themed dreams (or nightmares).

One of the worst side effects of work creeping into your personal life is all the feelings of negativity and guilt: they somehow seem to slip right past the five o’clock cutoff to accompany us on our commute home, through family hour, couch potato time, and straight into bed with us, where we wake up the next morning to their screaming with the voice of a menacing alarm clock.

If you want to leave work at work, you need to unwind your mind and put work in its place.

Me-time is a lost cause when all you can think about is office time. Try these three simple attitude adjustments to start your transformation from overworked, overstressed corporate burn-out to balanced, whole person with respect and reverence for your own personal time.

 

Attitude Adjustment #1: Swap prescriptive thinking for descriptive thinking

In our hectic professional lives, we devote unrecoverable quantities of time and energy to fretting about what we should have already done or really ought to be doing right now, realities and constraints of the current situation be damned.

Most of us are should-ing all over ourselves by late afternoon: I should’ve had a shorter lunch, how did I spend an hour and a half on that meeting, I ought to have finished this project an hour ago… But that kind of prescriptive thinking, prescribing what we think ideally should be happening despite the circumstances and constraints around it, is just making us more neurotic and stealing our time.

Handsome man working

The attitude adjustment: drop the prescription and switch to descriptive thinking, simply observing your situation without judgment and reporting to yourself on it: “Today I expected to spend one hour on this project. It took nearly three hours.”

Avoid the knee-jerk reflex to wag a mental finger in your own face, and instead take a dose of reflection: Why did this take me three hours? Did I forget to set aside time for research, preparation, etc.? Did something happen outside my control to change my schedule today? Was I maybe just not feeling particularly motivated?

These questions are infinitely more useful than berating yourself for not living up to your ideal reality. Should focuses on a past that you’ve already lost control of, while descriptive thinking is all about observing what happened today to better take on tomorrow.

 

Attitude Adjustment #2: Switch time management for energy management

Every day gives you the same 1,440 minutes of opportunity, and no matter how you “manage” those minutes, you’ll never budge that total by a single minute.

All the to-do lists and productivity hacks in the world are impotent against traffic jams, alarm clock malfunctions, gregarious coworkers, and the flu. Instead of starting your work day focused on managing your time, try looking to that other precious resource that you do have some control over: energy.

women working

Just as circadian rhythms like sleep determine our day-to-day physical cycles, we’re also subject to shorter biological rhythms that occur multiple times within a day: ultradian rhythms. And where you find yourself in the throes of these constantly-revving rhythms largely determines your energy levels at any given point throughout the day.

The secret of energy management is finding the rhythm of your own rhythm and moving to it instead of trying to overcome it.

Ultradian rhythms come in cycles of about 90-120 minutes from an energy peak to an energy trough, and those highs and lows are higher and lower at different times of day: Morning people get their most creative and productive work done after a crack-of-dawn yoga session, whereas for others the lightbulb only switches on at 4:00 in the afternoon while the rest of us are slumped over a desk in a pile of empty Starbucks paraphernalia.

By monitoring, understanding, and responding to your body’s own natural energy levels, you can mindfully ask yourself the right questions and deduce how to strategically apply your limited energy. Sometimes better work-life balance is as simple as moving that hour-long email session from your energetic morning hours to the energy-deprived afternoon.

 

Attitude Adjustment #3: Round up with the Rule of Quarters

Hofstadter’s Law is ridiculously simple yet infallibly true and unavoidably relevant to time management: Everything you plan for will take longer than expected.

And the Rule of Quarters is an equally simple and potent way of compensating for our inability to expect the unexpected. Just add 25% to every time estimate on your schedule.

check time watch
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One hour meeting at noon? Give it an hour and fifteen. Four hours needed to prepare your presentation? Let’s call it five.

For extra efficiency, follow the spirit of this law more closely than its letter. Round everything up to the next hour or logical increment. (Your 35-minute commute is really closer to an hour anyways when you include parking, polite morning hellos, and making a cup of coffee at the office.) And when you feel like your estimate still might be cutting it close, don’t be shy about allotting an hour and a half for the hour-long task.

Indeed, overestimating is where the true bliss of the Rule of Quarters can be found. When you expected your errand to take an hour, planned for an hour and fifteen, but it only took fifty-five minutes, you’ve suddenly gifted yourself a surprise 20 minutes!

accounting working woman
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

The mental separation of work and life is just as important or more than the physical separation of leaving the office and heading home. This week, whenever you catch work stress creeping into the after hours, try checking it with one or all of these three attitude adjustments and get the down time you need and deserve.

10 Reasons Having Kids May Not Be For You

Single and married women alike today have something new in common: Roughly half of each group is undecided about having kids. If this describes you, you are not alone – 2014 saw the largest annual birth rate drop since the U.S. Census began.

Ultimately, it is totally fine to not know yet if you want kids, or even to be sure you don’t. Here are 10 of the most common reasons women today say they are on the fence about having kids.

You adore travel.

If you don’t fancy trading in your exotic intercontinental travel plans for a nonstop, non-glamorous domestic itinerary of washer-to-dryer round trips, it may not yet be the right time for you to have kids.

couple adventure
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

You can’t imagine life without wine.

Let’s try a little meditation. Sit in a comfortable position. Breathe deeply in and out a few times. Visualize nine long months without a single sip of wine. If this part doesn’t sound fun, you might want to postpone having kids for a bit (or a lot) longer.

cheers wine
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You can’t imagine life without sex.

Oh yes. Or, rather, oh no….as in, oh no, where did all the sex go? And is it ever coming back? With the average new mom waiting 120 days or longer after giving birth to resume intimacy (due to pain, discomfort, body image issues, sleep deprivation and other factors), this is a valid question, and one you may not ever want to hear yourself asking.

couple
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You are loving your slim and trim figure.

In addition to the eight to 11 pounds or so of actual baby in your belly, you can expect to gain anywhere from 17 to 26 extra pounds during your pregnancy (up to nine of which will likely be pure stored fat).

girl water bikini
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You are single and “actively looking.”

Dudes with baby strollers in Central Park (or anywhere) still retain a fairly decent chance of scoring a date. But gals with a stroller may all too easily find their park time dominated by doting grannies instead. Not to mention that the moment you conceive, your mind may readily turn from fantasies of necking to fantasies of napping for the foreseeable future.

woman on laptop
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You enjoy taking the time to prepare gourmet meals.

You will still have the task of preparing meals, but the gourmet aspect will likely look a lot more like pureed apples and squash than mint-parsley ceviche or shrimp bouillabaisse.

seafood cooking
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You like checking your bank balance and watching it grow.

Recent estimates show that having and raising one child tends to cost the average family around a quarter of a million dollars (and that figure doesn’t include college tuition).

mercedes car
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You are super happy in your relationship.

Guess what 67 percent of couples cite as a major cause of relationship discord? If you guessed it’s having kids, you’re right.  In other words, if the phrase “marital slump” doesn’t sound appealing, you might want to move any thoughts of having a baby to the back burner.

black and white couple
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You are pretty (or very) happy with the way your life is now.

If you have a kid, prepare for all that to change, unless you can afford the kind of star-studded post-delivery care that makes your actual hands-on participation in parenting a totally optional task. The harsher reality is that most new parents report a significant reduction in their own personal sense of well-being following the birth of their first child. Eep!

girl jumping
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You think the world is already overpopulated.

‘Nuff said.

solitude climbing travel
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The Beauty and Challenges of a Bicultural Relationship

I possess a deep love for my hometown in the Great Northwest and feel exquisitely at home when I am in it. Despite this, I live in Costa Rica. Why? For love. I met and fell in love with my Nicaraguan fiancé while working for an NGO in his home country. While I initially relocated to Nicaragua thinking I would eventually return to the US, I was also open to seeing where life and love took me. Upon meeting my partner, I knew right away we had something special, and now we live together in Costa Rica, with his two school-aged children. Our relationship is lovely. It is pure and filled with the type of vulnerable and raw adoration perhaps unique to an bicultural relationship. But, it sure isn’t easy.

bicultural relationship
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We live in a world that seems to grow smaller and smaller with every passing year for those of us lucky enough to travel. International family vacations, junior year study abroad programs, after-college backpacking trips, and years spent teaching abroad are now commonplace. Of course, this is a wonderful thing. Yet, one of the inevitable results of our increasingly accessible world is falling in love during one of these international experiences, thus creating the huge decision to move abroad for a foreign partner. Upon embarking on foreign travel, we often daydream about meeting a mysterious and sexy lover, whether it be for a short, fun stint, or for the long haul. In fact, a study released by the US Census Bureau concluded that in the first decade of 2010, the percentage of interracial and interethnic couples grew by a whopping 28%.

Image via Stocksnap under license CC0
Image via Stocksnap under license CC0

It is common to idealize an international love affair. However, before entering into such a partnership, we must understand the very real challenges that accompany a long-term relationship with our foreign sweetie. Once the sense of adventure, mystery, and sexiness begin to fade, the following realities set in.

COMMUNICATION

Whether you are fluent or near fluent in a foreign language or just learning, this is perhaps the most challenging of challenges for a bicultural relationship. I was nearly fluent in Spanish upon moving to Nicaragua and improved dramatically over my almost two years there. My partner was impressed by my language skills, yet this didn’t help whatsoever in moments of sadness, anger, frustration, or perhaps simply struggling through endlessly mixing up tenses when telling a story. Without a doubt, being forced to communicate in the context of an intimate relationship exclusively in another language is a fantastic way to learn, but it comes with many moments of difficulty that can bring you to tears.

Image via Stocksnap under license CC0
Image via Stocksnap under license CC0

However, the flip side of this is that sort of beautiful, unique vulnerability mentioned earlier. When we lack the ability to hide behind words, to sugar coat our emotions, or to understand completely how we are perceived by our listeners, this offers an innocence and purity that opens up in us an enormous capacity to love.

LOCATION

Since spending a semester studying in Israel during high school, I have placed living abroad on the top of my priority list. However, it was not until I met my love and knew it was not just a fleeting romance that the reality hit of moving permanently to another country.

I might describe the process as that of grief. I grieve the loss of not having my family close, the ease of conducting life in my own language, and the endless list of conveniences I took for granted, like salad bars and coffee shops. Don’t wait to discuss this with your partner. If you know for sure that moving permanently abroad is not something you’re up for, this must be an early topic of conversation. Is your partner able to move to your country? Could you split your time? As romantic as things might seem, if neither of you is willing to relocate in the long term, it simply won’t work.

Image via Pixabay under license CC0
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES

Without a doubt, there is something deeply special about the learning and growth that can take place when individuals from two different cultures form a bond in a bicultural relationship. However, challenges such as gender roles, parenting methods, how to spend free time, and much more will become very real points of contemplation, discussion, and compromise. Consider your non-negotiables in a relationship and in a future. Pay close attention to signs early on that point to which differences will be most relevant to your relationship, and be sure your partner is open and enthusiastic to discuss these differences. After all, this is where the learning and growth occur.

Image via Pixabay under license CC0
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

RELIGION

This might or might not be a challenge, depending on your upbringing and personal beliefs. Do you both want to raise children in the religion you grew up in? If so, how might this look? Are you comfortable attending religious events with your partner? What about marrying under religious traditions that are completely different from those you always imagined? Religion is a challenge in a bicultural relationship that can generally be worked through, and can exist with any partner of a different religion, foreign or not, but should be taken seriously.

Image via Pixabay under license CC0
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

PARENTING

Through my experience, I have found that culturally-relevant parenting styles are something we often take for granted as being universally accepted. Trust me, this is not the case! Each and every culture has its own ways of discipline, education, expression, and family time, as well as its own traditions. While this can similarly be a challenge in any relationship, when people from different cultures join together in parenting, an entirely new layer of understanding and openness is called for.

Image via Pixabay under license CC0
Image via Pixabay under license CC0

So, is it worth it?

I believe that we don’t choose who we fall in love with, but the choice to continue loving over time must be intentional and requires work. For me, embarking on the challenges specific to a bicultural relationship keep me in a state of constant mental, emotional, and spiritual evolution. This certainly does not mean that moments and days of doubt, frustration, and questioning are absent, but I have never once questioned whether it’s all been worthwhile. After all, “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” –Maya Angelou

My family
My family