Dating can be fun and exciting, especially in the beginning when everything is a mystery; but it can also be work. Sometimes, we question if we’ll ever find the right person. No one is perfect, and finding the right match takes time; there are some behaviors that make us want to run away screaming with our hands above our heads. After experiencing a few of these dealbreakers, staying single doesn’t seem like a bad idea. Which are the worst dating dealbreakers? Here are our top picks.
1. Not Having a Photo
In our internet-centric world, many of us are meeting partners online instead of the old-fashioned way, which is easier in some ways but harder in others. Online, it’s simpler to analyze potential partners without investing too much time, and most of us only agree to meet people we’re attracted to, physically and/or mentally. According to an article from Smithsonian Magazine, the photo you choose for your dating profile can influence how much another person initially trusts you, perhaps becoming the deciding factor over whether they’ll agree to a date or not.
No photo? This goes on our list of dating dealbreakers.
2. Taking Too Long to Reply to Texts
You don’t need to jump at your phone each time it buzzes; but waiting a day or two after each message shows indifference toward the other person. Playing games is never a good idea, and plenty of partners will move on to someone else who isn’t so “hard to get.”
3. Running Late Without Notice or Completely Flaking on Plans
There is nothing wrong with running a bit late from time to time — everyone does it, and five to 10 minutes is completely forgivable. Making someone wait longer and not calling to warn them, or canceling plans last-minute altogether, are different stories. These actions are indirect ways of telling potential partners that their time doesn’t matter to you. Why should they spend any more of it? Many people won’t.
4. Being Rude to Others
On dates, we don’t only watch how we’re treated, but also how our dates treat others. Sure, being rude to the person you’re out with will end the night quickly; but mistreating the waitress (or “forgetting” the tip), the doorman, or anyone else you come into contact with will also ensure that a second date doesn’t happen.
5. Excessive Smoking and Boozing
There are plenty of non-smokers who don’t mind when their partners occasionally smoke, as long as it’s not done in the house or around other people; but getting carried away with cigarettes or alcoholic drinks is another story. When your habits impact your life and the lives of others, it becomes a problem, and healthy people want healthy partners.
6. Being Needy
At the beginning of a new relationship, it’s easy to get swept up in a world of constant messaging and last-minute dates. Then reality kicks in and we remember we have obligations and routines. It’s important to have your own life, friends, and hobbies so you don’t overwhelm your partner. Living a fulfilling life is also a turn-on and adds to the qualities that make someone interesting.
7. Talking Only About Yourself
Kidnapping the conversation is an easy way to ensure that it’s the last one you will have with that person. Yes, perhaps your job is super interesting, your children are adorable, and your dog did the funniest thing today; but your partner won’t care if he/she can’t get a word in edgewise. People feel important when they are asked about themselves, and listening to someone else is a way of showing genuine interest.
8. A Sloppy Appearance
This may seem like a no-brainer (we only date the people we’re attracted to); but after a bit of time, laziness can set in and some partners begin letting their personal grooming habits slip. The level of grooming requirements will vary from person to person, but at least make sure your clothes, hair, and teeth are all clean when you see your SO.
9. Sexual Incompatibility
The relationship won’t take off if the kissing chemistry is lacking, and it will experience problems down the road if both partners are on a different sexual schedule — one of the most difficult dating dealbreakers of all. Some people like being intimate every day while others are happy with once per week; so it’s important to find someone on the same wavelength as you.
10. Poor Communication
Communication is up there with honesty in “things crucial in a relationship.” At first, that can mean talking about/listening to each other’s likes and dislikes; but later it will translate to how you live together and handle bigger issues. Eye contact and other forms of nonverbal communication also matter, as highlighted in a study published in the Journal of Social Psychology.