So, you’ve done the first date, the second date… Hell, maybe even the third date. You’ve gotten over the lulls in conversation and uncertainties of whether you’re truly “into one another,” and now you’re ready to take things to the next level. It’s time to have your first sleepover with bae — second only to the nerve-inducing feeling of meeting the parents. Forget braiding hair and telling secrets — this one is all set to be oh-so-utterly romantic. At least, that’s what you pictured in your mind. The reality is that this event is a sheer minefield, and there are so many things that may (and likely will) go wrong.
1. Having the Worst Morning Breath
Morning breath is a fact of life. There’s not a single one of us out there who doesn’t wake up with breath that smells as though a small rodent slept in our mouths. Still, it isn’t exactly something we go around shouting about.
The last thing you want to do is ruin your sweet and sensual morning kisses by having the worst tasting mouth in the history of mouths. Sure, dashing to the bathroom before bae wakes up to brush and floss may seem a tad extreme, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
2. Holding in a Phantom Fart for Ages
Bodily functions are nothing to giggle about. (Kidding! They’re hilar.) In the first few idealized months of a relationship, you pretend that you’re some kind of non-farting alien. While you both know that this can’t be the case, you keep up the facade no matter how much it makes your tummy gurgle in pain.
Here’s the stinger. When you’ve got to let rip, but bae’s right there wrapped around you, it’s absolute torture. You wriggle and worm your way around the bed, hoping that the feeling will just *poof* and disappear. Ah, if only life were that easy.
3. Snoring Like a Bear
Do you sleep peacefully like an angel or does all hell break loose the minute you shut your eyes? A whopping 24% of adult women snore, according to the Sleep Education Organization, and you may well be one of them. There’s no shame in it but if you haven’t warned bae in advance, it may come as quite the shock.
Trying hard to stay awake until your guy drops off is anything but easy, but at least it’s one way to keep your deep, dark, loud secret under wraps.
4. Waking Up Au Naturel
In a perfect world, we’d all wake up looking the very image of Angelina Jolie. You’d be bright-eyed and bushy tailed from the minute the alarm buzzed. Not a single hair would be out of place, our makeup would be flawless, and there certainly wouldn’t be any sleep in our eyes. Sadly, this is not a perfect world.
The first time you stay at someone’s house, the fear of waking up au naturel is real. For once, they will see you without your having had the chance to preen yourself to perfection. This is the ultimate test — it’s time to see how much bae really cares.
5. Making Small Talk With the Flatmates
Let’s be real. Not all of us can afford the luxury of living alone. So, the chances of dating someone who lives with flatmates is high. When you first spend the night with bae, though, you’re there to get to know them and only them. As in, not their flatmates.
Ending up standing in the kitchen making idle small talk with these guys as the kettle boils may be unavoidable. But that doesn’t make it any less awkward. While you’re chatting about their day jobs or the weather, it’s all you can do not to drive yourself crazy wondering what they know and what bae has said about you.
6. Not Being 100% Sure When to Leave
In that early-dating period, it’s hard to know where you stand. Sure, you’ve just spent the night together. Sure, you’ve laid entwined, half naked, speaking passionately about everything from your favorite series to your family history. You’ve shared these intimate moments, but that was last night. This is this morning.
Do you go for breakfast? Do you stick around for lunch? Should you gather up all your stuff right now and leave for fear of outstaying your welcome? It’s a completely disconcerting gray area.
7. The Awkward Goodbye Hug Scenario
When you finally decide that it is time to head home, there’s yet more cringingly stilted fun to come your way. While you may be on first name terms with one another’s private parts, that doesn’t mean you’re ready for an ultra passionate “goodbye my one true love” kiss either.
Rather than getting too formal, shaking hands and exchanging business cards, you go for the classic — an awkward AF hug. Similar to the chillingly uncomfortable “bro hug,” this embrace lasts for around 3.5 seconds and sees the two of you barely touching and then swiftly pulling away. It may only happen in the blink of an eye, but the embarrassing memory lasts a lifetime.