man and woman on coffee date

The modern world of dating can be tough. It’s hard enough to find a decent person to go on a date with, let alone find one who makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. Despite that, there’s no reason you should settle for less than you deserve. Here are some of the subtle signs that you’re so not into him.

You’d Rather Hang Out With Your Girlfriends

Your phone buzzes. You look down. It’s him asking you to hang out after work tonight. He’s got some “big plans,” he says. Your heart sinks. Some of the girls from the office are heading out for happy hour cocktails and you honestly don’t want to miss out. You shoot a quick reply saying simply, “Sorry, busy tonight!”

There’s something wrong with this picture. While you shouldn’t drop everything each time he sends you a text, bailing on him also shouldn’t be the easiest thing in the world. However, if there’s no question as to what you’d rather be doing, that’s a major red flag.

girl friends hanging out

You Hardly Ever Think About the Future

Okay, so not every woman meets a guy and starts immediately daydreaming about walking down the aisle. (Some do… and that’s completely fine too!) However, if you’ve not even considered what the future holds for you and him, it could be because you don’t think there is one. If Mr. Right is actually Mr. Right Now, that’s not a huge deal. Just don’t lie to yourself or him about it, or someone could end up getting hurt.

He Never Makes You Laugh

Has your special someone got a good sense of humor? If the answer is a resounding no, it might have more to do with how you feel about him than anything else. In fact, research published in the Evolutionary Psychology Journal found a link between dating interest and both partners laughing.

So, if your guy makes you squeal with laughter, there’s a good chance you’re into him. On the other hand, though, if his jokes fall flat time and time again, you have to wonder why. Either he’s the least funny man on the planet or you’re just not feeling it.

woman not into him

You Don’t Miss Him When You’re Apart

Sure, you don’t want to be the type of lady who pines endlessly for her one true love (or maybe you do…you do you!). But not missing your partner at all isn’t just a sign of sheer independence – it could be a sign you’re not overly invested in the relationship. If you feel undeniable pangs of relief when he goes on a long weekend away without you, you have to question whether you really want to be with him or not.

You Don’t Ever Check Him Out

Your partner gets a new haircut, some new pants, or a new shirt – do you even notice? When was the last time you took a good, long look at your guy? The truth of the matter is when you’re attracted to someone, you can’t help but take your eyes off them. One study from Florida State University found we’re often unable to look away when we see someone who we find seriously attractive. It’s human nature.

A sure-fire sign you’re not that into your current squeeze is if you hardly ever look at them. You don’t notice the small things they do or whether they’ve made an effort for your date. These details are too fine for you to notice… because you’re not trying to.

You Think He Tries Too Hard to Impress

Let’s not beat around the bush: this guy is pulling out all the stops. He spontaneously buys you flowers. He sends you sweet “good morning” texts. When you’re hungry, he cooks. When you’re sleepy, he makes the bed and puts on some soft music. You might say he panders to your every whim – no matter how futile it may be. There’s just one problem.

redhead woman shrugging

You think he’s trying too hard. If any other guy did all of the above (and more), you’d probably be flattered beyond belief. For some reason, though, when this man does it, it makes you feel a little queasy. Why has he gotta try so darn hard, you wonder?

The Spark is Gone (Or It Was Never There!)

Do you feel butterflies in your stomach whenever he pulls you near? Do you even feel a little flutter? If there’s absolutely zero feeling, one of two things has happened. Either the spark has faded away over time and you’re only noticing the difference now. Or, if you’ve just started seeing this guy, it was never there in the first place.

Whatever the case, you have to ask yourself why you’re wasting your time here. Life is brief. Relationships come and go. People move on. If you’re not that into him, it might be kindest to him to say your goodbyes now and walk away. As the time-old saying goes, there are plenty more men on Tinder. And don’t we know it?